French Blue
by Precious Pup
Summary: Tony has a crush on'McGeek' and is having big issues handling it. Angsty & Funny slash romance? Follows from my M rated stories Vanilla and Transitions where Tony Abby and McGee spend the night together but French Blue can be read seperately
1. Chapter 1

Tony licked his dry lips in the chill dry wind blowing across the sports field that currently had the corpse of a young Naval Cadet strung up across the goal posts.

Tony shivered and continued taking shots of the crime scene while McGee sketched, kneeling down the pad across his knee on the other side of the posts.

Tony compulsively licked his lips again and felt them start to sting. Damn he was going to have delightfully red chapped lips just in time for his date with the smoking hot blonde from Accounts.

Tony looked across at his team mate. McGee didn't seem to be having any trouble with his lips. In fact his plump bottom lip seemed in perfect moist condition as Tim pouted slightly as he concentrated, frowning into the wind.

Yup full soft warm lips…

Tony shook his head. Oh no he wasn't heading there again. After several slightly awkward days and nights Tony had decided that his body had associated sex and Abby with McGee, which explained his physically responses on that one occasion.

Transference. It was a psychological condition that could be easily reversed. Tony was sure of it. He had seen it in a movie, but he just wasn't sure which one.

He just had to remind his body that sex could happen just as delightfully without Probie's participation. Hence the date with the smoking hot blonde.

Tony licked his now aching lips again and he could feel how tight they felt. Tony deliberated. It was very important to his peace of mind that he got laid. And soon. This would not be aided if he had peeling disgusting lips. And it didn't look like they were going to be getting out of this wind any time soon.

With a sigh Tony headed over to Mister Boy Scout Be Prepared.

"Hey McGee!" Tony whispered loudly into McGee's ear causing him to jump

McGee eyed him warily "What do you want Tony?"

Tony had been acting a little weird around him since…. Well since they had both spent the night at Abby's. He could understand the awkwardness, it still freaked him out a little too when he thought about it but Tony seemed particularly intense about it. He had watched Tony carefully in turn and noted that he didn't seem to be acting any different around Abby. Tony joked and laughed and questioned with her just like he always did. Nope it was just around him that his hackles seemed to go up and Tim felt himself get defensive in return.

"Let me use your chap stick. I can tell you have some. This wind is killing me."

McGee prudishly screwed up his nose "Urghh no Tony I'm not letting you use my chap stick."

Tony felt a flash of anger at this ….. man that just seemed to delight at getting in under his skin.

"Urrghh? What afraid of getting some DiNozzo germs or something?"

Tim stood up and tried to defend himself "No it's just that well… No. It's just too personal"

"Too personal? Too personal?" Tony hissed keeping his voice down and out of earshot of Gibbs "So you will touch my cock but you won't let me borrow your chap stick?"

Tim gasped and stepped back from Tony as if he had punched him, looking across at Tony with wounded eyes.

Tony despaired. What was wrong with him? Using a private vulnerable intimate moment as a weapon? Against someone as defenseless as McGee? Someone who meant him no harm other than to be his friend? He held up his hands in defeat "I'm sorry Tim I…"

"No fine. Here. Take it." Tim burrowed his hand into the pocket of his jacket and tossed the small cylinder to Tony before picking up his sketch book and striding head down towards the truck.

Tony stood motionless wondering if he should run after him but then he saw Gibbs look up at him with narrowed eyes. Tony instead stuffed the hard won Chap Stick into his pocket and returned to shooting the scene. Later. He would make it up to McGee later.

Licking his lips for the thousandth time Tony fingered the small tube before with a sigh he pulled it out and smeared it thickly over his lips. The relief was almost immediate and Tony rubbed his lips together pushing the moist salve over the outer edges of his dry lips.

And then he tasted it. Strawberry. McGee's Chap Stick was strawberry flavored. Tony licked his lips again experimentally. Definitely strawberry. Tony smiled for an instant enjoying the slight flavoring in his mouth before his smile died.

_Too personal_

McGee had been worried Tony would tease him about it. And he probably would have if he had just seen McGee using it or saw it lying around. But not today. With a sigh Tony tucked the small tube back into his pocket. Strawberry. Timothy McGee's soft lips would taste like strawberry.

As they finished up processing the crime scene Tony hurried across to McGee

"Hey McGee, thanks for letting me use it. I was desperate. Hot date later. Here" Tony's hand held the Chap Stick out to McGee, where it remained untouched.

"No thanks Tony. You keep it. I don't want it back now." Tim's voice was quiet and he didn't look at Tony as he hoped up into the back of the van. It was as if Tony had tainted it, which in a way he had. Tony's fingers curled over the hard won tube possessively and with a stupid joke withering on his lips at the sight of the slightly hunched figure ignoring him, he turned and silently went and sat in the front seat.

Later that night Tony pulled away from the sleeping naked woman beside him and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep. Again. No matter how much he tossed and turned and told himself how tired he was he couldn't sleep. And he couldn't stop thinking about the taste of Tim's soft full lips. Strawberry.

The taste of his own lips was slowly driving him crazy.

(

_(First crack at a more 'serious' slash romance rather than slash porn set up. Let me know what you think)_


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Abb's. Gibbs sent me down to help" McGee's voice was quiet as he slipped into her lab to stand beside her.

Abby turned to face him with a smile and as she took in his slightly hunched defensive posture she frowned.

"What's wrong McGee?"

"Nothing" But McGee eyes didn't meet hers and instead slid across the counter top looking at the evidence bags.

Abby put her hands on her hips "Come on now Timmy, I know you well enough to know when something's wrong"

Tim almost shook with the desire to tell someone. He had been thinking about it all afternoon. Was he over reacting? Was Tony being cruel on purpose? Would their friendship be damaged forever because the three of them had slept together? He thought Tony was the experienced one. Shouldn't he be the one having issues about it? But he didn't. He trusted Abby and Tony. They were his friends and he cared about both of them. Tony was a partner in the field and they have covered each others backs more time than he could count. He thought what had happened between them could simply stay there in the past. Three friends who found release with each other.

But then Tony attacked him with it. Stabbed him with it in the middle of a crime scene. A line had been crossed and what made it worse was Tim wasn't sure when Tony would do it again. Because whatever it was that made Tony angry at him was still there and no amount of jokes and laughing could cover it up.

McGee's eyes looked into Abby's full of pain and hurt and confusion and her teasing fell away and she gathered him up into her arms and hugged him tightly.

"He said…. Tony…..he" In the end Tim couldn't do it. He couldn't admit to what Tony had said to him, even to Abby. He wouldn't break Tony's trust in him no matter how much Tony had hurt him.

"He took my chap stick" Tim finished lamely

Abby pulled back and smiled at him "Tony took your chap stick?"

McGee gave her a small smile knowing how ridiculous it was to hear a trained federal agent whining about a chap stick.

"I know its stupid but I didn't want him to and he made a big deal out of it and…" Tim trailed off and Abby pulled him back into a hug and rubbed soothing circles into his back. She knew it wasn't about the Chap Stick and she knew that Tony had said something hurtful to Tim and she was pretty sure she knew what it was about. Even if Tim didn't.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

)

Tony watched silently from the other side of the glass doors as Abby held McGee tight and they whispered words of comfort to each other. In the end he was always the one who ended up alone. Excluded from the laughing looks and the intimate moments.

It never occurred to Tony to step through the doors and instead he turned and headed back up to the Bullpen knowing Abby would update him when she had something anyway.

Besides it was better this way. McGee and Abby were… right for each other. Different but right. Who knows maybe one day they would get it together and have brilliant little Goth/Geek babies together.

Tony licked his lips and tasted the hint of strawberry on them.


	3. Chapter 3

Timothy McGee could feel a headache coming on and knew it was the start of another tense and awkward week. He realized he bitterly regretted spending the night with Abby and Tony. Three weeks had gone by and his relationship with Tony still hadn't returned to a state of normalcy.

Oh Tony talked to him, laughed _at_ him, and threw balls of paper at him so on the surface it was all the same but McGee knew it wasn't. He always felt Tony watching him, mostly when he thought he couldn't see him. He almost wished Tony _was_ ignoring him instead of this ….. whatever it was McGee couldn't put his finger on. That at least was something he could confront.

The teasing had always been there but it had changed tone somehow and instead of being a sort of affectionate teasing it had become barbed and bitter. McGee had enough to deal with at work without being subtly put down all day everyday. Yeah so he wasn't as fast as Tony was or as fit but Tony couldn't even type and he never teased him about that.

He had noticed that Tony would talk to him when others were around as if proving a point to someone but he could barely meet his eyes when they were alone. Last week Tony had actually made an excuse and swerved off at the last minute to avoid being in the elevator alone with him. Why?

Was Tony embarrassed about what he said and didn't know how to apologize? It must be something more to it than that? Sometimes he would see a glimpse of the old Tony who would make him smile then Tony would look at him and practically run from the room.

It took a lot to get Tim angry but he could feel the tension building in his shoulders like a weight making him hunch. He found himself getting quieter and quieter and stopped entering into the general banter around the office when Gibbs wasn't there. It was just easier because McGee never knew when it was going to suddenly turn on him in some way. He made sure he always had his own lunch instead of joining the others taking turns to collect something. His free writing became angry and dark as his bottled up emotions poured out of his fingertips at night to be unleashed on his unsuspecting typewriter.

It did make Tim realize what a big part of his life Tony had become because now it felt like there was this big hole in his life, a hole that was once filled with laughter and quick touches, late night greasy pizza, movie quotes and friendship.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Abby watched growing increasingly worried as McGee slowly withdrew from them. It wasn't in an obvious I'm not talking to you sort of a way but she could see it. She hadn't meant her playful drunken suggestion of a month ago to end up like this. If it kept up ….? What if he left? Transferred? Was offered another position with another team? In his current state he might just accept it.

The thought of McGee not being around left Abby bereft. He was one of the few people she welcomed into her lab and they had worked side by side for so long it seemed inconceivable that he wouldn't be there when she needed him.

When she heard that McGee had turned down another invitation to drinks with the team after work that Friday she made up her mind. She was going to talk to the one person she knew could fix this. Tony.

If only he would talk to her.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

)

"What the hell is wrong DiNozzo? Just tell me! I'm sick of it. I'm not leaving here until you tell what's been going on with you!"

Tim with a frustrated growl stepped in front of Tony and blocked his path with his body as Tony tried to doge to the side and towards the freedom of the door. Tony swore under his breath. This was _exactly_ what he didn't want. This was the sort of scenario that was giving him nightmares at night. They were wet dreams but nightmares none the less.

_Tim forcing his body into immobility as he ran his hands over him….The choice taken away from him so his mind didn't have to decide what it thought about the desire that rippled through him at the touch of Tim's clever hands running down his chest. At the firm thigh shoved between his legs…._

Couldn't Probie just figure it out for himself and leave him alone until his body and his mind could agree on what was happening and he could go back to normal? He teased him because he wanted him to stay away, far away. He teased him when Tim smiled because it made his heart ache to see Tim's pretty mouth and the bright smile he rarely showed the world and he didn't want to see it anymore.

Tony had finished up at the gym and had changed into some fresh clothes to meet the rest of the guys for a drink after work. As he was leaving he had seen Tim coming towards him and he hadn't been able to resist a parting crack at Tim's obvious dateless Friday night. Tony had wanted to ensure Tim didn't change his mind as a result of Ziva or Abby's pleadings and meet them at the bar. Drinking alcohol after a long tough week and a relaxed Timothy McGee standing next to him was not what Tony had planned for his Friday night.

Hell that was what got him in the situation in the first place.

The next thing he found himself practically pinned up against the lockers as Tim whirled on him, furious.

Tony pushed McGee's arm away ignoring him which only angered Tim further. What didn't he deserve an answer? Wasn't he good enough for some simple respect anymore? Tim's normally friendly soft eyes flashed as a buildup of suppressed emotions and anger surged through him. Once he might have been bullied into backing off but he wasn't that boy anymore. Oh no this was going to go down right here and right now. He was going to get some answers before either of them left.

Tony tried once again to make a dash for the door as his heart pounded in his chest and he could _smell _Tim as he leaned in close. Oh God the smell of warm clean cotton and expensive aftershave. Tony closed his eyes as Tim slammed his hands onto the lockers either side of Tony's head with a crash and crowded him with his body. His warm firm _masculine_ body.

"You aren't going anywhere Tony until you tell me what the hell is going on? What you don't like me anymore, is that it? If you have a problem with me then just tell me to my face instead of just being an arsehole about it!"

They were almost exactly the same height and Tony thought he had never seen anything quite so beautiful as Timothy McGee angry. He could feel the heat of Tim's body as he panted almost in his face and his bottom lip quivered with the force of his anger. Tony bucked away from the lockers once more and Tim with a snarl of frustration pinned him completely with his body, locking him with his knees and forcing his shoulders back with his strong hands.

"No Tony. Here. Now. Just tell me!"

Tony panted as his heart hammered, his eyes panicked. He could feel the desire surging through him like white hot needles... and it terrified him. He was aroused and could feel his erection straining against his jeans... and against Tim's hard hip.

"Please … Tim….. Let me go!" Tony begged.

Tim felt the look in Tony's eyes like a slap in the face. He was afraid of him? Why was he afraid of him? He was one of the strongest men he knew.

"What is wrong with you Tony? It's not like I'm actually going to hurt you………" Tim's words trailed off and he glanced down Tony's chest at the unfamiliar sensation of heat. Stunned at what he realized it was he looked up into Tony's eyes in bewilderment.

Tony horrified threw off Tim's hands and roughly pushed him into the next bank of lockers. Tim stumbled backwards unprepared and slammed into them with a loud metallic rattle with his big eyes staring at Tony startled and confused.

Tony ran.

(

_(Oh come on now people I know your reading. You have to give me a comment for the pinned up against the lockers bit? Anyone? )_


	4. Chapter 4

Tony felt sick. Actually physically sick as he sat in his apartment. McGee knew. He had to figure it out. What was he going to say to him?

Tony's mind skittered away yet again from the reality of telling his one time Probational Agent, Timothy McGeek that he was physically attracted to him. A man he had more than once sniggered at in his gym clothes, who he had teased mercilessly about his taste in clothes and his varying haircuts. Whose nipples he had tweaked and butt he had slapped and pinched a thousand times over. McGeek, McGoogle, Probie, Probilicious, McGiggle….

He had to admit though; McGee had changed a lot over the years Tony had known him. He had grown more confident, changed his clothes, lost weight, whitened his teeth, grown his hair and he no longer timidly popped up his head from behind his computer like an over grown prairie dog when someone asked him a question. Now he leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head and his feet on his desk when he was thinking.

Had he learnt that from me? Tony suddenly wondered, the image of the man that sat across from him clear in his head.

The way Tim would occasionally get that gleam in his eye and he would glance over at Tony with a grin and Tony knew he was onto something. And lately Tony found himself itching to run his fingers through Tim's silky fringe as it flopped forward….Stop it!

His mind didn't even admit to himself that it was actually more than physical attraction. He cared for McGee. As more than a friend.

And THAT was even worse.

Tony swallowed wondering if he was actually going to be sick as his stomach roiled with anxiety. Deep breathes.

Tony glanced down at his phone. Six missed calls. All from Abby.

There was no way he was going to the bar tonight. Not now. She would take one look at him and drag him off into some dark corner and wouldn't stop until he spilled his guts. And the way he was feeling at the moment it might actually be literally.

And it being Abby, she would probably be _happy_ for him. For _them._ She would see it as two of her closest friends getting together. She would be delighted, clapping her hands and winking cheekily at him. It would be a disaster!

She wouldn't be able to keep it to herself either. She would go straight into operation get Tony and McGee together or GTMT. Tony could see it all now. Mysterious notes arranging secluded meetings turning up on _both_ of their desks, deliveries of flowers from a 'Secret Admirer" and invites to _all night_ movie marathons.

No no no. McGee hearing about Tony's feelings for him for the first time from Abby? Cornered, alarmed as Abby pounced on Tim demanding details from him he just didn't have. No Tony couldn't do it to him. At least if he talked to Tim personally there was a chance it could remain private, just between them and maybe, just maybe they might be able to work something out.

Abby would make it sound like a great Brokeback Mountain decade long romance. She would make it sound like Tony was _in love_ with McGee. Tony knew McGee would freak. Hell he would if Abby told him the same thing. Hell who was he kidding he _was_ freaking. Tony got up yet again and paced around his apartment running his teeth under his immaculate fingernails out of sheer nervous tension.

What to do? What to do? It had to be something. Doing nothing wasn't working. He wasn't sleeping. Tim was on his mind constantly at work, mostly in an effort to avoid him where possible. Even going to the toilet lately had resulted in plans being laid to ensure McGee wasn't anywhere near the bathroom when Tony was.

Ridiculous! This was a man he had worked side by side for years with. They had survived Kate's death together, Gibbs retiring, McGee shooting a cop, McGee's stalker killing two people, the whole Frog thing, being supposedly blown up. The list went on and on. He had seen McGee shirtless, asleep a hundred times on his desk, in the car, seasick, covered in poison ivy rash, sopping wet from running through car washes.

This was a man he had _talked_ to _while_ he pee'd and now the very thought of the sound of McGee standing there and unzipping his fly broke Tony out into a sweat. Tony pounded the heel of his hand into his head. This was a man whose face he had Superglued to a desk! What was wrong with him!

He needed to suck it up. If he didn't talk to McGee, then McGee sure as hell was going to want to talk to him. He couldn't avoid him completely. Not now. Trying to avoid him had only resulted in them nearly coming to blows. The complete surprise and confusion on Tim's face as he slammed loudly into the lockers continued to haunt Tony. What he had wanted to do in that instant was pull Tim up off the ground and into a hug, frantic apology's spilling from his lips, his arms clinging to Tim's solid warm back. What he actually did was turn and run away as fast as he could with the sound of McGee frantically calling his name ringing in his ears.

If he wasn't careful he was going to lose a friend completely. A good friend. A turn up at his door covered in blood at two in the morning sort of good friend. A friend who didn't believe you were dead even if there was a body, both phones AND his badge. A friend who had listened to his Fugitive speech more times than he could count and still bothered to give him pointers.

Sex Machine. That was his pledge name. Suddenly Sex Machine was contemplating …. No let's try and be honest here. Lusting after a _man_! Tony picked up a cushion and twisted it in his hands just to give his hands something to do. Should he see a psychiatrist?

They were field agents and had to entrust their lives to each other every time they stepped out the door. The team couldn't function if half the team wasn't speaking to each other.

Oh my God. Tony suddenly realized what was worse than confronting McGee.

Gibbs.

Gibbs already knew something was up between them but Tony was sure Gibbs was hoping they would just work whatever it was out. And if they didn't? The thought of being shut up in that tiny elevator with McGee and Gibbs, sweating under the steely blue Gibbs glare until he eventually confessed and choked out that he was obsessed with his male team mate was ………was………..

There were no words to describe that scenario. Tony groaned aloud and buried his head in his hands. He would actually rather be dead than be in that situation.

Tony's cell rang insistently. Again. Tony leaned over and checked the caller ID. He may not feel like answering it but he had to be contactable at all times.

Abby.

Tony paced and gritted his teeth ignoring the ringing. He knew he had to talk to McGee. Ok decision made. Not talking to him was worse.

Now what to say? What to say? What did he want to say?

What did he actually want?

Tony dragged his miserable butt through the door and peeked at the Bullpen. Phew he wasn't here. An entire weekend of avoiding calls, no sleep, headaches and feeling so wound up he thought he might snap had not helped him come to any sort of decision.

He just hoped that when the time came to speak to McGee it would just come to him, the perfect thing to say to make everything alright. And if that didn't happen he would have to fall back on the old DiNozzo magic and smile really nicely. Really, really nicely.

"Tony!"

Tony found himself yanked sideways out of the elevator.

"I have been ringing you and you haven't been answering! All weekend! I need to talk to you." Abby glared at Tony fiercely

"Ok Ok Abby please your hurting me" Tony whined plaintively

"You need to talk to McGee. I don't want to hear any excuses from you now Tony either. I just want.."

Tony held up his hands in defeat "I know. I need to talk to McGee. I know. I will. I promise as soon as I see him."

Abby stopped in mid rant "What? You will? Excellent. Let's find him right now. I want to watch!"

Tony sighed and wished he had snuck up the stairs as Abby dragged him over to stand in front of Gibb's desk. Abby waited a moment patiently while Gibbs slowly looked up.

"What?"

Abby nudged Tony, hard.

"Boss do you know where McGee is? I…. I need to speak to him about something"

Gibbs looked surprised.

"Didn't McGee speak to you over the weekend? He's already left"

"What do you mean left? Gone to get coffee?"

"No I mean left the _State_. Gone. He spoke to the Director Friday night apparently and got it cleared with her. I'm not sure exactly when he will be coming back."

Abby glared horrified at Tony, tears already starting to prick at her eyes.

"What have you done?"

(

_(So what do you think? I have already written three chapters ahead of this so will load fairly quickly)_


	5. Chapter 5

"Woah Abby. I don't see what Tony has to do with the death of McGee's Grandmother?"

Abby and Tony turned to stare at Gibbs as he just looked at them, mildly concerned by Abby's violence.

"McGee's grandmother?" Abby sniffed and blinked through the threatening tears.

"Yeah he got a call Friday night after work. A drunk driver ran through an intersection and plowed into a car with McGee's Grandfather, Grandmother and heavily pregnant cousin in it. They were on their way to see some school play. His Grandmother was killed instantly and his Grandfather and cousin are in hospital. His Grandfather was driving and I gather is in a pretty bad way. McGee called me with the basics but he was pretty shaken up and was heading straight out to meet up with the rest of the family at the Hospital. The Director cleared his bereavement leave request and I think he's going to take some of his holiday time on top of that if he needs to, to make sure he is able to attend the funeral. His Mom and Sarah are obviously really upset too so he wanted to make sure they were alright. He didn't want them driving through the night on their own."

"Oh" Abby didn't know what to say and Tony just turned and sat down quietly at his desk. Shit. And he thought he had had a rough weekend.

"Poor Timmy. I tried to phone him this weekend but it kept going to message bank but… I guess he's got a lot of other stuff .. on at the moment. And if he's at the hospital he won't be allowed to have his cell on..." Abby trailed off and bit her lip.

"I'll be down in the lab. If McGee phones give him a hug for me would you Gibbs?"

Gibbs smiled and nodded 'Sure thing Abby."

A few moments of silence later and Gibbs looked up, his steel blue eyes boring into Tony "So are you going to tell me what that was all about Tony? What did you do to make Abby think you had driven McGee away?"

Tony dug deep and found his most practiced and familiar response. He smiled and flashed Gibbs his brightest grin.

"Abby thinks I have been teasing McGee a bit more than usual lately. I wanted to apologize to him for it but when you said he had left ….." Tony shrugged and felt Gibbs assessing him.

"I had noticed you getting pretty nasty with McGee recently. And that's not like you Tony. I mean you tease him and he teases back, that's fine but I won't go losing a team member because you've developed some sort of problem with McGee. I'm glad you're going to sort it out with him. He's a good agent and if I remember rightly he's saved your ass more than once."

"You noticed?" Tony was surprised even though he knew he shouldn't be. Gibbs noticed everything although he had tried hard to be 'normal' around Gibbs as much as he could lately.

Gibbs just gave Tony one of his looks and Tony nodded "Yes Boss. As soon as he gets back Boss"

Tony gave himself a firm head slap for good measure and saw Gibbs quirk a smile.

It was a very long week for Tony. A case didn't come up and while that would normally be a good thing, this week it simply meant that Tony had nothing else to dwell on. Nothing else to think about other than the fact that he missed McGee.

Without the pressure of McGee being around to watch him Tony relaxed into his feelings a little more and allowed himself to explore them… just a little bit. Not too much because well he was still totally straight. Definitely.

Well maybe he might be Bi? That was ok, girls liked guys who liked guys … and girls. Wasn't that what he had told McGee when he hassled him about getting a manicure?

A manicure. Tim must have the most marvelous hands…. Tony found himself drifting off on the slightest provocation.

What sort of aftershave did he use? Cologne? Whatever it was it smelt amazing. Maybe he should get some for himself?

By Tuesday when Tony found himself fondly sighing over McGee's paperclips that he stole out of his desk and unthinkingly linked together into a pretty little chain, Tony realized he had developed a giant, toe curling, heart pounding, break into a sweat at the very thought of him, boy crush on Timothy McGee.

It certainly seemed that absence did make the heart grow fonder.

Without the anxiety of running away from it mixed into the equation Tony found he missed McGee's little lop sided grin as Tony dragged him into yet another scheme that would result in both of them getting in trouble. The jokes and laughter as they checked inventory in the truck and filed their evidence reports. He missed the way Tim viewed the world in bright shiny colors with only small tiny controlled bits of grey. Tony felt like he lived his entire life in the grey areas sometimes and he wondered if he had ever seen people as almost entirely right, good and true the way Tim seemed to do.

His eyes would instantly stray to the far desk every time he walked in first thing in the morning and he would feel a flash of sadness at the sight of the empty desk, even though he already knew before he looked across that McGee wouldn't be back yet. To cover his disappointment Tony would plaster on a bright smile and joke about how peaceful it was without McGeek around.

Lunch time wasn't as fun without Tim to throw his lunch wrappers at. His computer didn't work just because it knew McGee wasn't around to work his magic on it. Hardly anyone listened to his ramblings anymore although he kept it up out of habit. Every show on television was a re run, the Magnum Marathon was cancelled and no one wanted to split a portion of pork dumplings with him.

Everywhere he went he seemed to be reminded of McGee. Abby's Lab, a car wash, a park (poison ivy) even the video store which still had up an old Lord of The Rings poster. If McGee was an Elf Lord did that make him Frodo? The curly dark haired brave one with the big feet?

Tony found he developed an almost unhealthy obsession with the Strawberry Chap stick that had once belonged to McGee. Tony found himself carrying it around like a good luck charm in his pocket. What was he doing? He hadn't acted like this since Shannon White in Junior High. Although Tim's pouty mouth could knock Shannon Whites out of the ball park!

And that was just the day time! At night Tony would lie awake and try not to relive the sensation of Tim holding him against the lockers, his long fingered hands on his chest and his warm sweet breath on his face.

1.45pm Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tm Tim Tim Tony practiced his name until it started to become familiar to him.

3.12pm Strawberry kisses. Soft full lipped gentle kisses that would last all night.

4.10pm Maybe he could take McGee to the Superhero's movie coming out at the end of the year? It combined his love of movies with McGee's comics.

He couldn't sleep at night as he ran through his head a thousand versions of what to tell McGee when he finally faced him. Some scenarios ended up with a kiss (Tony's personal favorite) a silence, a punch, a puzzled 'What?' a frown, a 'get the hell out of here!' and almost the worst a laugh.

To hell with it! This was driving him crazy! Even if McGee laughed in his face at least he would know. And perhaps then he could move on… get some therapy or something. It wasn't like he was suddenly attracted to _any_ guy. It wasn't like he had a thing for Gibbs… or heaven forbid for Palmer! It was just specifically McGee. But that must be a good thing right? It showed that he wasn't gay just…. singular in his current gender obsession.

Hours of gut clenching anxiety would suddenly pass (I'm Not Gay! I'm NOT Gay!) and Tony would quietly find himself wondering what it would feel like to rest his head on Tim's chest at night. To not be alone. To hear his heartbeat beating in time with his in the warm dark night.

By the time Gibbs announced that McGee had called him and told him he would be back at work Monday Tony had all but worked himself into a froth.

A strawberry chap stick wearing, paper clip linking, pork dumpling pinning, Will and Grace watching froth.

He nearly cheered but stopped himself and then realized that straight Tony would have cheered to have his Probie back so Tony gleefully raised his arms in celebration and whooped.

Gibbs just smirked and shook his head.

Yes. Tony decided he was growing up. He wasn't going to run. He was going to be brave and mature about this and handle it like he was an adult.

This concept was a bit of a novelty for Tony and having finally made the decision he felt insufferably proud of himself. As soon as McGee got back he would admit that he was attracted to McGee, apologize to him for his recent behavior and insist that he would allow McGee to take the lead on where it might head as he wished to keep his friendship with him intact.

Tony after some careful consideration figured he was doing this for McGee was well. Being thrown against the lockers and feeling his Senior Field Agent having a raging erection for him must be disturbing the poor Probie no end so the faster it was sorted out the better.

Tony stood in front of McGee's door on the Sunday night and ran through all the reasons that had seemed so clear to him only moments ago. Even as the fear started to creep in and trickle in drops of sweat down his neck Tony felt a smile twitching across his lips and butterflies in his stomach at the idea of seeing McGee again. Maybe he could sneak in a manly hello hug? Wrap his arms around him, just for an instant? He had been gone over a week. Nine days in fact.

Taking a deep breath and convincing himself once again that talking to McGee now privately before he came into work was much better than another painful deep and meaningful by the lockers, Tony knocked on Tim's door.

And then he knocked again. Louder.

Suddenly the door swung open and Tony without waiting for an invitation stepped into Tim's apartment with a grin plastered across is face.

"This is not a good time Tony"

Tony's smiled vanished at the weary cracked tone of Tim's voice but he plowed on worried he might lose his courage if he stopped.

"Look I just wanted to apologize for…… You've cut your hair!" Tony was surprised. It wasn't quite the buzz cut he had a few years ago but it was a long way from the almost floppy silky locks McGee had worn a few days earlier.

Tim just sighed and ran his hand over his face. This was the last thing he wanted right now. He knew he was barely holding it together as it was and he didn't need a confrontational evening of discussing Tony's insecurities on top of it all.

"What do you _want_ Tony?"

"I thought that … you know… you might like to talk about what happened before you left. I mean… um between us…….I have been thinking about it all week and figured it would be a good idea to clear the air between us before work tomorrow. Because you know I figured it might be…. Well… bothering you."

Tony looked at Tim to try and explain and suddenly saw just how exhausted and shattered McGee looked. He looked pale and thin like he hadn't eaten in days which made his already large green eyes seem huge in his face. There were lines of tension and stress around his eyes and mouth which made him look much older than he was. And he looked angry. Really really angry.

Tim stood in the middle of his tiny apartment and practically shook with rage. He couldn't frame his thoughts to express himself for an instant and then he turned and stood right in front of Tony.

"Bothering me? You think that what I have been worried about all week is YOU? Jesus you are so selfish Tony. You really don't have a clue do you? I knew you were bad at relationships but I thought you might just have some human decency. Do you know what I have been doing this last week Tony? Do you even care? I have been grieving! My Grandmother was decapitated Tony, did you know that? In the car crash. Sheared her head right off. My Grandfather was badly hurt but he could have survived but he _didn't want_ to. He didn't want to live another day without his wife of 57 years by his side. He saw her killed beside him and then we had to stand there in that hospital and just watch him die right in front of us!

But did you care? Hell no! You didn't even phone and see if I was ok! You have been too busy thinking about YOURSELF all week. How YOU feel about whatever is going on in that head of yours.

Oh did you know there was a chance they wouldn't release her body because they wanted to carry out an autopsy to see if they could bring anymore charges against the driver! I had to go and argue with the Police just so my _Grandparents could be buried together!_ "

Tim took a deep shuddering breath and held onto his rage as it was the only thing stopping him from collapsing shaking in tears as the savage wall of emotions from the last week rose up and threatened to drown him. He started pacing trying to release the pent up energy sizzling through him.

"Everyone was asking me what the hell was going on. Because I'm the Federal Agent. Because I'm the eldest Grandchild, the clever genius I'm supposed to be able to deal with all this and have all the answers. I'm the strong one and everyone was turning to me. I haven't even been able to morn because I have to be the one keeping it all together. Keep the family functioning. Talk to the hospital, talk to the police, talk to the funeral home, talk to the solicitors, find a home for their god damn cats! Mom is doped up to the eyeballs trying to deal with the shock of loosing both her parents in two days, Sarah's a mess and to top it off _Tony_, my cousin Linda who was also hurt went into premature labor. They gave her drugs to try and hold it off as long as they could but they only gave her an extra couple of days."

Tim angrily jabbed his finger into Tony's chest

"Do you know what that was like being at the Funeral and wondering if we would all be back there in a few days time? Derek, Linda's husband got called away from the funeral because Linda went into labor and was experiencing complications. He thought his wife and baby girl might die Tony! Everything's gone to hell! And you don't seem to HAVE A CLUE!"

Tim sucked in a huge breath, trembling from head to foot in his exhaustion.

"I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, I haven't cried, I have been driving all day to get back here in time for work tomorrow and I have to say that the last thing I have thought about this week has been YOU!

SOMETIMES NOT EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU!" Tim screamed, silent tears slipping down his face as he raged against the world.

Tony was horrified. What had he done? Tim was right. He was a self absorbed, thoughtless, immature _Bastard_. He had spent the last week in a candy floss, adolescent, isolated stupor obsessed with McGee without giving a thought to what Timothy as a person was currently experiencing.

And he had been _so proud_ of himself for being adult enough to come and talk to Tim tonight of all nights.

"Tim, I'm sorry I….."

"Didn't realize? Didn't know? Did you even bother to ask Tony?"

Tony realized with shame that he hadn't. His entire week had been about him and what he wanted to say. His own shame and guilt. His fear.

He had wanted to come here tonight not to ease McGee's concerns but to settle his own. It had been unthinking and selfish.

"Just go Tony. Go. NOW!" Tim stalked over to the door and ripped it open, dashing the tears away from his face with the heel of his hand.

Tony slipped through shame faced and heard the door slam behind him which was followed a moment later by the slightly softer sound of Tim's body sagging against the door and sliding slowly to the floor. Tony stood alone in the corridor and listened to the muffled sobs now coming from the other side of the door.

He couldn't move and he felt a wave of self loathing clutch at him. What could he do? He couldn't go back in and offer comfort, that would only make everything worse. Minutes went by and Tony could still hear Tim's soft anguished sobbing as he wept his despair and grief of the last week out into the cold night.

Slowly feeling empty of everything but shame Tony walked away from the door and went home.

(

_(Awwwww Poor Timmy... poor Tony...silly silly boys...Please review and let me know what you think)_


	6. Chapter 6

_(Thanks for the reviews guys... glad you like. Will try and keep up with the quick updates. Precious)_

When Tim walked into work on Monday morning he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. It was like the outburst of the evening before had left him a barren salt blasted isolated emotional waste land.

It wasn't helped by the fact that his eyes felt red and itchy, he had almost no clean clothes left, he had cut himself shaving and he still seemed to be suffering the after effects of the allergy medication he had been taking due to his Grandparents ever present cats. Tim was certain the animals had deposited hair on all his clothes and through his entire bag on purpose.

He had been forced to notch his belt in further to ensure his pants stayed up and his shirt seemed annoyingly baggy. He also had a small headache which didn't seem to be going away. All up he was feeling pretty crappy and in dire need of a warm hug, a Krispy Kreme and a large decent coffee.

"Gear Up"

Tim sighed as he realized he wasn't going to get any of those things. Gibbs turned the corner and stood in front of McGee, looking him up and down.

"You Ok McGee?" Gibbs voice was uncharacteristically concerned and Tim felt a small lump developing in the back of his throat.

"Yeah. Sure Boss" Tim tried to clear his throat which felt dry and rough from crying himself dry the night before.

"Alright them McGee. I gotta say you look like crap. But I trust you to tell me if you can't handle being out in the field." Gibbs gave him a stern look and Tim stood straighter and nodded, understanding what Gibbs was asking.

As the four of them stood in the elevator Ziva reached over and squeezed his hand "It is good to have you back, McGee."

Tim smiled at her while Tony mumbled an agreement and looked everywhere in the elevator except at McGee.

Tim sighed. Great. He had made Tony feel terrible and now he wasn't even going to open his mouth in case he screamed at him again. He would have to apologize to him at some stage but right now he just didn't feel up to it.

Gibbs had sent McGee to canvass the neighborhood, knocking on doors, flashing photos and asking questions while the rest of the team secured the scene and waited for Ducky. Tim felt grateful to be given something useful to do that didn't rely on being only a few meters away from DiNozzo for the entire morning.

After hours of trudging door to door Tim wasn't feeling so grateful. He felt freezing cold in the chill wind, his nose was running again and he could really do with something to eat and a hot drink. No one seemed to have seen or heard anything either which was unfortunately typical.

Heading back to the scene he gratefully climbed his aching body into the car and gave a brief mumbled report to Gibbs who was watching him in the rear vision mirror. As the heater kicked in and the gentle conversation swirled around him, Tim felt safe amongst his team, his friends and found his eye lids dragging down into warm comforting blackness……..

"McGee?" Tony's voice concerned swum up through the shadows.

Tim woke with a jerk and realized he had fallen asleep… in the car…. With Gibbs.

"Sorry! I… didn't realize how tired I was."

Tim waited for the head slap….. which never came.

"Come on lets get you inside." Gibbs put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Tim gave an embarrassed smile.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

As Abby ran her endless tests Tim's cell rang and when he saw who was calling he stepped out into the corridor to answer it.

"Hey Linda. It's good to hear from you. How are you doing?" Tim smiled as he heard his cousin's weary voice.

"Well I have been better… but I have been worse too you know so….? Look Tim I just wanted to thank you for all you did this last week. I mean you really held it all together, organizing the funeral, the hospital and everything and as bad as it was it all could have been so much worse without you."

"Hey hey I'm the last thing you should be worried about right now. You have Derek and your new little one to think about. How she doing by the way? Have you picked out a name yet? When are they going to release you out of hospital?"

"Well that's the other reason I phoned. Have you got your flash new phone?"

Tim smiled "Yeah of course."

"Alright well have a look at what I'm sending you then."

Tim with a look around the empty corridor sat down on the floor and leaned his back to the wall.

Up on the colour screen of his phone came the image of a humidicrib and the tiniest baby he had even seen, in a tiny pink cap to keep her head warm, covered in tubes and monitors.

"Oh Linda she's so tiny "he whispered reverently

Linda sniffed "Yeah buts she a fighter. Every day she gets stronger and they are giving her more chance. They are giving her drugs to help develop her lungs. They think I might be able to hold her soon…. Oh Tim I'm so happy …I just know she's going to be alright. But then I feel like I shouldn't be happy because of what happened and I think about being in that car with them everyday. Just a split second slower or faster and we wouldn't have even been at that intersection and all this never would have happened. She was their first great grandchild you know and they will never get to meet her. But then I look at her and I think it could have been so much worse and I realize how lucky we are and I'm happy again…. I'm just all over the place"

Tim smiled sadly "Hey its ok to be happy. Grandma and Granddad would want us to be happy, not sad all the time. It was a tragic accident and you can't keep thinking about all the 'what if's' because there are just too many. You will drive yourself crazy wondering about it. And it won't actually change anything anyway."

Tim tried to give the advice he hadn't been taking himself. Wasn't that the way? Do what I say not what I do? He decided to change the subject to a happier one.

"Hey what have you named her?"

Linda smiled "We decided to name her Lillian….. or Lily for short"

Tim swallowed down the lump in his throat and paused "That was Grandma's name…. she would love that Linda really."

Linda turned the camera back to the crib to send some more footage.

"Lilly? This is your uncle Tim.. well he's your cousin but you won't call him that. Now when you're older and beautiful he's going to keep all the boys away from the door and stop your father having a heart attack. Because he's a big, brave Federal Agent and he will look after you and keep you safe. So hurry up and get big and strong Lilly so you can meet him. Flash those big eyes of yours at him. Ok?"

Tim felt tears he thought he had no more moisture for drip slowly down his face at the optimism in her voice, then the tiny baby twitched in her cot almost in a wave and Linda laughed through her own tears.

"See she loves her Uncle Tim already!"

"Thank you for sending me this Linda… It does help to know you guys sound like your going to be ok. And she really is going to be beautiful Linda."

Tim could hear Linda smile "I better go, the nurse is coming back to check my stitches. Hey keep in touch and thank you Tim. I mean it. It really meant a lot."

"Bye Linda and say Hi to Derek for me"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tony quietly watched Tim as he sat on the floor of the cold corridor and smiled brightly through his tears as he watched his phone.

Who was he talking to that made him smile like that? Who was he talking to that made him cry like that? Tony wanted to go and sit next to Tim and with a bright grin, a bad joke and a slap on the knee make everything go back to the way it had been between them.

He also wanted to sit next to him and pull Tim's head down onto his shoulder and let him cry while he rubbed soothing circles into his back, whispering calming nonsense into his ear.

After a moments hesitation Tony did neither. He simply turned and with a heavy heart walked silently way.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim had lied. He _had_ thought about Tony. In fact any chance he got when he wasn't surrounded by tears or anger or fear he thought of him. What would Tony do? How would Tony handle this? If only Tony was here to make him laugh and tell him it would all be alright.

Tony survived everything life through at him. It had always made Tim jealous the way Tony could come up with the perfect line just when he needed it. He could be shot at and still not break a sweat. He seemed to be the perfect agent, who could think on the spot, take calculated risks and always came up with the goods.

How could he not have thought about him? Anthony DiNozzo was the most beautiful, infuriating, intelligent, brave and frustrating man Tim had ever had the pleasure to really know. And he did feel that after all these years he was finally getting to know the real Tony DiNozzo, the man underneath the nervous jokes who really cared and just sometimes didn't know how to show it.

The Tony that brought flowers for Terri in Admin when she fell over and was on crutches for a month. And never said a word about it. The Tony that stood with him besides Kate's body and helped him say goodbye. The Tony that stayed with him until 2.00 am when he had shot Benedict just trying to take his mind off it. The Tony that wanted him…….

There had been an instant, a split second when he had held Tony up against the lockers demanding an answer from him and he had suddenly understood the reason for Tony's terror. A split second when he wanted to crush his soft mouth to Tony's and kiss him breathless and give him every answer he had ever wanted.

But then Tony's fear had kicked in and instead he had found himself on the floor calling Tony's name, breathless from the impact of his violent shove.

What might have happened if he hadn't got the tearful phone call from Derek on his way to Tony's house that night? Instead of rushing off to pack would they have talked as two rational people instead of Tony bearing the brunt of Tim's own anger, fear and exhaustion just over a week later?

Would they have kissed?

Life really did go on even when it seemed impossible to find joy. Little Lilly was proof of that. She was fighting hard just to get the chance to live her life. Every day was precious and it could change so suddenly you should grab at any joy you could. Tim realized that he needed to live his life and stop worrying about the 'what if's' and just do it.

And a big part of that new life he wanted for himself was Tony.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim shook his head. He thought he should be starting to feel better now he was back at work not worse?

His throat felt so dry. Tim walked to the water cooler and filled a large refreshing glass of cool water before quickly, thirstily drinking it down.

Suddenly the cold water hit Tim's hot empty stomach and he didn't think it was such a good idea as his stomach started to revolt. Tim bolted to the bathroom just in time to throw up the small burning contents of his stomach. Blech. Tim spat and hacked his misery out before flushing it away. Groaning Tim leaned against the toilet cubicle and staggered across to wash his face and hands. After a few deep breathes he walked back out and slumped down at his desk.

"Are you ok McGee?"

"Actually Boss…. I don't think I am. I haven't been feeling well but I just thought I was tired from… the trip and the anti allergy medication. And no sleep…. But I'm…."

Gibbs looked at the sheen of sweat across his young agents brow and how he suddenly appeared as pale as paper. Gibbs got up and walked to McGee's desk and put his hand on his brow. Gibbs sighed frowning.

"You're burning up McGee. I knew you didn't look well. Look it's late. Why don't I get Ziva to take you home?"

Tim nodded helplessly as the thought of making the long drive through traffic at night whittled away the last of his strength and he slumped his hot forehead against his desk.

Then he thought about it and the decision he had made.

"Boss I know it's further for him but can Tony take me?" Tim's small voice was almost pleading.

Gibbs shrugged and turned to look at Tony who was watching McGee concerned from behind his desk "DiNozzo? Do you mind taking McGee home?"

Tony looked up surprised at McGee's request. "Yeah. Yeah sure Boss. That's fine."

Tony gathered up McGee's bag and jacket along with his own and slowly hustled McGee out the door with a weak kneed shuffle.

Gibbs smirked. If he was sick he would prefer to have DiNozzo drive than Ziva any day.

(

_(I hope its not a let down after the intensity of the last chapter? I can't help myself and there is actually some humor ahead but I will try and remember that I meant this as an angsty fic.)_


	7. Chapter 7

"What?" Tim blinked his tired watering eyes at Tony realizing he had been talking to him for some minutes now and he hadn't registered a word he said.

Tony opened his mouth to continue his nervous ramblings wrapped around an apology then closed it with a sigh "Never mind"

Tim knew there was something wrong there and he should say something but he couldn't work out what. Had Tony said anything important? Did Tony _ever_ say anything important? His eyes hurt less when he shut them…..

"McGee? We're here. You going to have to wake up buddy cause there is no way I'm carrying you into your apartment. You've had one too many breakfast burritos for me to attempt that." Tony shook his shoulder again and Tim groaned.

"I don't want a burrito……" Tim mumbled his eyes still closed and his head lolling forward.

"I didn't offer you one Probie. Look I need to get you into bed ok? You really don't look well."

Tim smirked to himself that Tony wanted to get him into bed and contemplated something witty to say. What to say? Why could you never think of something clever to say when you wanted to? Why was he smiling again?

Tony frowned as Tim smirked to himself without moving from the passenger seat. With a sigh Tony awkwardly hauled Tim up and out by the arms and managed to half drag him, half carry him to his apartment, using his foot to slam the car door closed as they went.

Tim's happy fevered elf lord dreams took on a rather lewd tinge as Tony was forced to rummage for his apartment keys in Tim's pants pocket when he proved to be decidedly unhelpful.

Tony threw up his hands in frustration "McGee! McGee where are your apartment keys? If I can get you inside you can have a nice sleep in bed ok? Much nicer than in the hallway… but I need to know where you keys are. Ok?"

Tim smiled his glassy eyes slightly fever glazed "Keys? Oh they are in the front pocket of my jeans."

Tony gave McGee a rather sour look "I have checked there McGee. Are you sure?"

"Oh yes I'm sure…. The left pocket in particular….. right down at the bottom."

Tony sighed and slipped his hand down Tim's tight jeans pocket and fished around searching.

"Oh _Yeah_. Little more to the left"

Tony glared at McGee and whipped his hand out of his partner's pants as he sloppily leaned against the doorframe.

"Are you messing with me McGee? Because if this is your idea of a joke then it is seriously not funny." Tony was on the verge of furious. Was McGee getting some sort of revenge on him for the pranks he had pulled on him over the years?

Tim pouted while Tony yammered about something and then shivered, his entire body aching as cold fingers crept over his back and swallowed, his mouth dry. Why wouldn't Tony let him inside so he could go to bed?

"I'll give you a burrito if you left me go inside to bed Tony. Please Tony let me in I just want to go inside?"

Tony just looked at him, studying him with narrowed eyes. Tim peered back, blinking a little at the bright light from the front entrance.

"Burrito?" Tim offered helpfully forgetting why he was offering it in the first place.

"I will let you in when you tell me where the keys are McGee" Tony gritted out between clenched teeth

"Oh why didn't you just ask? They're in the front pocket of my bag"

Tony cursed long and loud and an instant later Tim found himself in his apartment. Finally.

Toeing off his shoes as he went he took off his jacket (too tight) and pulled his shirt over his head (scratchy) and dropped them on the floor. Bed. Bed bed bed…… he was so tired, hot, thirsty, tired, sniffly, hot, tired. Did he mention tired?

Tony looked up from closing the door and carrying in Tim's bag to find Tim flinging his socks (itchy) into the corner of the room. Tony stood in surprise and stared at Tim now naked except for his expensive designer jeans, his creamy pale skin flushing and slightly sweaty from the temperature he was running. His silky fringe flopped over his forehead and Tony could see the slight definition of hard muscle moving under Tim's soft skin.

Tim rubbed his eyes with his fists like a toddler would when woken from a deep sleep.

"I'm hot Tony"

Tony smirked and realized Tim probably wouldn't remember tomorrow anyway.

"Yes you are McGee…. Yes you are"

Tim ignored him and ambled into the bedroom and tugged impatiently at the covers of the bed, pulling them back before flopping his six foot one inch frame down on the bed with a whomp.

Tony sighed and came into the bedroom and pulled the cover up around a now shivering Timothy McGee.

"I'm co…. co…lllddd, cold Toneee" Tim chattered out as Tony gave in to the sensation from earlier and rubbed soothing circles into Tim back as he stood beside the bed.

"McGee, what am I going to do with you, Huh?" Tony gently whispered and shook his head as Tim made tiny little pleased whimpering sounds as his back was rubbed.

Tony stared for a second. What the? He reached down and fingered the black shiny sheets between his fingers. McGee had black satin sheets on his bed. Probilicious had BLACK SATIN SHEETS on his bed?

Tony wasn't sure why he was so shocked but it just seemed something so incongruous to how he pictured buttoned up, ironed everything, towels triple folded McGee. Then again anyone who knew him well would be surprised at some of the things he had been thinking about lately so surely McGee could have his black satin sheets.

And most of those thoughts had something to do with the practically naked, sweaty, pouty lipped, young man rolled up in black satin sheets making little moaning sounds when he touched….

Woah there Tony. Tony Gibbs slapped himself. What was he going to do, take advantage of McGee and hope he wouldn't remember it in the morning??

Geez the last time he had been in this apartment McGee had screamed at him and told him what a selfish bastard he was. Tony looked down fondly at McGee who now seemed to be asleep. He had been hoping when McGee had asked if he could drive him home that they might be able to talk and at least patch up the friendship part of their relationship. McGee didn't seem to be up to much of anything right now. Tony tried to take consolation in that at least he had asked for him to take him home. That must mean something surely?

Tony left the bedroom and the now soundly sleeping McGee and filled glasses with water and juice and put them by McGee's bedside table along with tissues, aspirin, some dry crackers and some sort of PC Geek magazine he found still in its clear wrapper with the rest of McGee's mail.

Tony was about to leave the apartment and make his own way home when he heard McGee mumbling loudly and unhappily from the bedroom.

"Burrito! Coming to get me …… no! Don't want to be eaten…….sauce…….. tired….. Tony likes scrambled eggs……..No! Scrambled……….Go AWAY! Bad Burrito. Gibbs will…….stop chasing me! Tired"

Tony shook his head as McGee twisted and turned from his fever induced nightmares rapidly getting tangled up and practically choking himself in the thick silky sheets.

"Shushhh Timmy" Tony untwisted the worst of the mess and suddenly found himself sitting on the other side of the large bed with Tim's head burrowed into his shoulder as Tim still asleep instinctively nestled towards warmth and safety.

Tony decided to wait until Tim settled down again into a restful sleep before slipping out from underneath him. Tony lay there and listened to the slowly deepening breathing of his partner as Tim's warm breath played on his neck.

Tony tried not to admit to himself that really it wasn't so bad.

After waiting several more moments Tony tried to wiggle out and off the bed only to have Tim throw an arm around him and mutter his name in his sleep.

"Tony"

Tony froze.

Ok……… So was that a Tony… don't go? A Tony……I love you? A Tony… what the hell are you doing in my bed? Or a Tony….. you're nice and warm?

Tony tried to peek at Tim's restful face on his chest. Ok. Maybe he would just stay here for a while. McGee really wasn't well and he needed someone to keep an eye on him in case he did something stupid in the middle of the night.

After several hours in which Tony realized he had drifted off to sleep in Tim's sheet bundled embrace he managed to slip out and make his way back to his own apartment. He didn't think he was quite ready for any early morning conversations and he was pretty sure McGee wasn't up to it at the moment either. Tony resisted the urge to give Tim a quick kiss on the cheek as he left and instead pushed his fringe back and tucked it behind his ear. Beautiful.

Timmy really was so cute in the morning, looking all rumpled and angelic.

Tony had a quick warm shower and finally clambered into his own bed, drifting off to sleep with the feel of Tim's head on his shoulder and his warm breath on his neck.

Tony awoke with a jerk to the sound of his phone ringing and with a groan rolled over and answered it.

"DiNozzo" Tony answered with a slight croak and a sniff.

"So…. Did Timmy give you anything besides his germs last night Tony?" Abby asked smugly.

(

_(Ok lets here it for the awwwwwww I love this chapter makes me laugh and smirk in equal measure. Please review and let me know what you think)_


	8. Chapter 8

Tony groaned "Abby please… I didn't get much sleep last night.."

"Really?" Abby smirked

Tony growled into the phone "It wasn't anything like that. McGee was really sick and I just stayed with him for a while. He was running a high temperature and having nightmares about Burritos or something chasing him for gods sake."

"Oh that is _so cute _Tony. You were worried about him"

"It is _not_ cute. He's my partner …. "

Tony could hear Abby's smile down the phone and corrected himself "not my partner my team _mate_" That wasn't much better and he decided to scrap defending himself. Abby would think whatever she liked anyway.

"Hey Abby can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Anything for you Tony"

"Did you know McGee has black satin sheets on his bed?"

Abby crowed "Oh yeah …. You say nothing happened and now you're asking me about his sheets?"

"Abby! Stop that. I was just surprised that's all. I didn't pick McGee for being a sexy sheet kind of guy."

Abby smirked again "Oh I think there is a lot of stuff you don't know about McGee, Tony"

Tony sighed "I'm not talking to you anymore…… I will see you at work Abby"

"But wait! Did you two…" Tony snapped the phone shut to try and grab a few more minutes rest before dragging his tired butt into work.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9

Tim cracked open one of his eyes and blearily peered across the empty bed. Huh he was sure Tony had been here. He looked a little closer at the imprint left on the bed and smiled. Yeah Tony had been here all right. Hell the pillows smelled like his aftershave. Yummmm. Tim buried his head into Tony's pillows with a smile and fell back asleep dreaming of Tony rubbing soothing circles into his back.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9

Ziva smiled as Tim walked off the elevator.

"Hello stranger. Feeling better?"

Tim smiled "Yes actually Ziva. I have made a decision about something. Nothing like lying in bed sick as a dog for a few days to give you time to sort your priorities out"

Ziva nodded "Good for you, McGee. You might want to watch out for Tony though. He has been a bit grumpy the last couple of days."

Tim grinned "Thanks but I think I can handle it."

Tony looked up from his desk and frowned at McGee before obviously blowing his nose on a tissue.

"You! You and your _Boy Germs_ can go sit over there and stay far away from me!"

"Oh Tony didn't you miss me?" Tim grinned and Tony paused quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Maybe…. A little….. but only because Gibbs couldn't work out the new software upgrade and I have had to order new stock for the truck manually. MANUALLY! It has taken me hours and hours and I keep getting requests for latex gloves being sent back to me. Not to mention I still haven't worked out how to get new batteries for the torches and ….."

"Poor Tony" Tim patted him on the head tenderly and Tony paused in his rant looking suspiciously up at McGee.

"Are you ok? You didn't knock your head or anything while you were sick did you?"

Tim smiled and went and sat down at his desk, looking brightly at Tony.

"Hit my head? Hummmm No I don't think so. Why?"

"You're just acting a bit…. Weird."

"Really?" Tim feigned innocence before busying himself with the reports now piled up on his desk.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tony watched fascinated as McGee, still sitting at his desk slowly ran Chap Stick over his full lips. Feeling Tony's eyes on him McGee turned to look at Tony and gave his lips a slow lick with the tip of his pink wet tongue before holding out the tube to Tony.

Strawberry.

"Would you like to try some Tony?"

Tony groaned internally and frantically shook his head.

"Pity. It's flavored. You really should try it. It's good to try something _different_."

Tony pulled the collar away from his neck. Had it got hot in here? Was the air conditioning broken again?

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9

Do you want some of my _Pork Dumplings _Tony?"

"Excuse me??" Tony desperately searched for clarification as McGee looked at him, his face a picture of innocence.

"I feel like I haven't eaten in days and I was going to order pork dumplings with my lunch. We usually share a serve so I was asking if you wanted some."

"Oh" Tony considered. That sounded logical. McGeeish.

"So Tony" McGee leaned in closer to Tony, his eyes dancing while his face remained completely straight. "Do you want some of _my_ pork dumplings?"

Tony found himself blushing at the tone of McGee's voice. Surely he didn't really mean……..

"Come on Tony. You always like my pork dumplings……."

"Ahh I don't think so McGee… not today. I don't feel like ….ahhhhh …. dumplings today.." Tony fidgeted in his chair taking deep breaths as McGee leaned away with a smile.

"Ok just thought I would ask" Tim sauntered away with a grin.

Half an hour later Tony watched McGee with narrowed eyes as he tucked into his lunch, complete with a serve of pork dumplings. What the hell was McGee playing at?

"Are you sure you don't want one Tony?" McGee winked at him salaciously and waived the pale steamed dumpling held between his chopsticks at Tony.

"They're really good" Tim called out across the bullpen

"You know I think I'm going to go talk to Abby" Tony almost bolted out of the office and escaped down to Abby's ab.

"Hey Tony" Abby grinned at Tony her eyes dancing

Tony sighed. He really didn't want to be having this conversation with Abby. It would only encourage her but still he really needed a second opinion on this.

"Abby?"

"Yes Tony" Abby stood in front of him giving him her full attention.

"I think…. I think McGee's trying to hit on me"

(

_(Thanks for the reviews its helping me keep up with the quick updating... so if you want more you know what to do! Precious By the way Im having a humor detour but the angst will return..._)


	9. Chapter 9

Abby laughed "You _think_ McGee's hitting on you? What has he said?"

Tony flushed "Uh he asked me if I wanted any of his Pork Dumplings"

Abby burst out laughing again "Oh yeah he's hitting on you alright"

Tony frowned and considered this dangerous news while Abby grinned and danced around her lab. Until she saw his face.

"Hey Tony why so sad? This is _Good_ news… this means he likes you… and you like him… and so two of my best friends can get together…. And oh can I watch?" Abby eyes danced in lustful delight as she contemplated her Timmy with her Tony….rrowwlll.

"Abby! No you cannot watch!" Tony was horrified "And you cannot watch because it's not going to happen. I mean McGee is a guy! I'm Anthony DiNozzo and I'm totally and utterly straight."

Abby stopped very still and turned and looked at Tony. "You do realize it was his name that you cried out while we were having sex Tony? Don't think I just forgot about it and don't think I'm someone that you can just brush this off with. You have feelings for him and I expected you two to have talked by now…..obviously you haven't?"

Tony stared at Abby and realized just how amazing she was. She wasn't freaking out, she hadn't yelled at him, she was just calmly making sure he couldn't avoid the issue. In the mix of his own screaming emotions at the time he had never considered how she might have felt about him crying out another's name.

Tony opened his mouth searching for something to say only to find himself swept up in a firm Abby hug. Extracting himself he shrugged and dropped all pretense.

"He asked me what was wrong, why I was acting all weird and we got into a sort of fight… I freaked, he pinned me up against the lockers …….I pushed him and took off. I spent the weekend trying to figure out what to say and I was going to talk to him as soon as …I got into work. That's when you came and told me off but he was already gone. Then when he got back I went over the night before work to … try and explain…. And we had a sort of fight…. He screamed at me and told me I was a selfish unthinking bastard… and kicked me out of his apartment. Then he got sick and asked me to take him home and I thought great we can _finally_ talk…. But he was so out of it I don't think he even knew I was there…… So no we haven't talked. We haven't talked about IT since …….well you know we all slept together."

Abby looked thoughtful "Well you certainly seem to know how to push McGee's buttons. He pinned you to the lockers you say…"

"Abby!"

"Sorry… I just find the thought of him and you so HOT"

Tony rubbed his hands across his face "You are not helping here"

Abby sat down in a chair and swiveled in it back and forth thinking.

"Well I don't see what your problem is. You came down here and said you think he's coming onto you. So the next time he offers you his _pork dumplings_ just say yes"

Abby clapped her hands together "Problem solved"

Tony just looked at her "No that is not problem solved Abby… I mean I'm not gay so accepting anything from McGee…. Who is a friend…… and who I work with…..everyday…. is really only going to make matters worse."

"Make matters worse when?" Abby frowned not really following Tony's logic

"Make matters worse … when this phase I'm in is one day suddenly over! I mean I was totally straight and I'm………. just having some _temporary_ dramas but when that goes away I don't want to screw up one of the best friendships I've ever had by…. Sleeping with him… and it being McGee….. breaking his heart!"

Abby sucked in her breath and looked at Tony wide eyed as he finished nearly shouting in his desperation for her to understand.

"Ohhhhhh you've got it bad Tony. I understand now. You don't just like him… you _like_ him, like him."

Tony just threw up his hands in desperation. "Arrgghhhh haven't you been listening to a word I have said?"

Abby quirked an eyebrow at him in reply "Hello? Haven't you heard a word you've said?"

Tony sighed and sank down onto the edge of the desk. "It's just a phase and I don't want to hurt him"

"And what if it isn't a phase Tony…. And you loose him anyway? I think you need to stop considering McGee exclusively as a _man _and consider him as a _person_. As a person he is sweet, gentle, intelligent, brave, considerate… he is also cute, funny, drives a Porsche, has put up with you for _years _and has sexy sheets on his bed. Trust me you could do far worse."

Tony didn't know what to say to that. It was one thing to confront McGee knowing that he would probably be shocked and say no and that maybe that would give him the impetus to snap out of this, whatever it was.

It was quite another to speak to McGee……. No Tim and know that the answer quite possibly would be yes. Tim wasn't a quick roll in the hay sort of guy, he also didn't make rash spur of the moment decisions. He would want to take things slow, talk it all out and build a _relationship._

The R word made Tony break out in a sweat. He wasn't very good at them and contemplating it with a man seemed even worse. Tony sighed and wished not for the first time that a certain pouty mouthed probie would just get out of his head.

"Thanks Abb's. Thanks for listening" Tony turned to go

"Did I help?"

"I… I don't know. But thanks anyway."

"Anytime Tony" Abby smiled and wondered just how long it would be before her Timothy would make his way down to see her.

(

_(Thanks for reviewing... and please keep it up! Don't cha just love Abby sometimes? The boys keep dragging this story off in a different direction to where Im trying to take it. Having to much fun making eyes at each other I suppose? Precious)_


	10. Chapter 10

Tim sighed. Man just how stupid could DiNozzo be? If he was anymore obvious he was going to pull something. If he had breasts he would have flashed them. Maybe it was him? He had never tried to hit on a man before…. Maybe he was sending the wrong signals? In fact what signals did you send a guy? Smoke? Morse code? Flags?

What else could he do? Send him red roses from a secret admirer? Too embarrassing. A massive box of ridiculously expensive chocolates in a huge heart shaped box? Even worse. Pin him up against the lockers and kiss him stupid? Might just get a head injury judging by his previous reaction.

A huge smile snuck its way across his face. He was going to buy Tony a gift. A gift so spectacular that there was no way it could be considered as coming from just a friend.

Now …. What could that be? Tim looked thoughtful and disappeared into the depths of the internet trying to find an object which would do the impossible and unlock Tony's heart. Tim was sure it existed he just needed to look deeper………

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tony watched as McGee seemed to stop giving him Goo Goo eyes and finally get back into some work. He gave a sigh of relief and attempted to finish the report he should have had on Gibbs desk two weeks ago.

After several minutes of McGee not looking at him Tony looked over to his desk and began to wonder just what it was McGee was so interested in. Was it over already, his infatuation with him? Tony pouted. Surely not, he was Anthony DiNozzo. He was worth a bit of a chase surely…..

What? Tony mentally Gibbs slapped himself. He _didn't want_ Probie pursuing him remember? That way only led to heartache for all concerned so if he found someone more interesting, funnier, better looking, smarter….. well then that was good. Impossible … but good.

Tony let his eyes drift over Tim's profile and absorb the intensity of his expressive eyes as his fingers danced over the keyboard with flashing precision. Tony sighed and pecked away at his own keyboard absentmindedly with two fingers. Tim had beautiful hands……….

Tony quickly glanced across again to see if McGee would be looking at him again. Just to check. To reassure himself. And sighed as Tim's eyes remain glued to his monitor.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Ziva tried to hide her smirk behind her computer monitor as first one co worker and then the other sighed and stared at the other and pouted. Surely they could just figure it out on their own? She knew men weren't really the best at talking issues through but seriously this had been going on for weeks now.

At first she had been surprised but as she watched the slowly evolving non relationship they seemed to have going, now she thought it was kind of sweet. McGee would duck his eyes as if shy and blush for no reason other than the thoughts in his head. And Tony in love was really just down right ridiculous. Well now that he seemed to have got through the nasty complete denial phase.

It had been more the absence of things that Ziva had first noticed. Tony no longer clapped McGee on the back, or pinched his ass, or tried to grab at 'love handles' or tweak his nipples or any of the other thousand touches a day he used to torment Tim with. Suddenly now a pinch or a touch meant too much to be just flung about casually.

McGee had asked about some missing paper clips the other day and Tony had nearly fallen off his car. Subtle DiNozzo. Still what the hell was Tony doing stealing McGee's paper clips?? Was he building a little shrine of denial made of stolen stationary?

They probably didn't realize it but they maneuvered around each other constantly. McGee started out trying to stay away from Tony and Tony always seemed to be somehow near him. Now it seemed the dynamic had changed and McGee seemed to practically chase Tony around and always tried to ensure he was standing close to him whether it was in the elevator, in the truck, in Abby's lab. Tony would shuffle away or around or back and try to place some distance between them but Ziva noticed he always seemed to end up shuffling right back to where he started again right by McGee's side.

Ziva decided she was going to have a drink after work with Abby. Maybe she would know what's going on.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim suddenly found it. IT. The perfect gift. It was so utterly perfect he only just stopped the shout of 'YES" he had been about to make. It was the ultimate Tony DiNozzo gift. He smiled smugly. It was going to cost him a fortune but he hoped it would be worth it. Now just how was he going to get it……..

"Ah Boss would I be able to leave a bit early tomorrow?"

Gibbs looked up from his paperwork and frowned at the excited almost gleeful expression on McGee face.

"Why hot date McGee?"

Tim shrugged unable to stop grinning like an idiot "Something like that. I just need an extra hour… if that's alright"

Gibbs considered "Sure, especially since unlike DiNozzo over there you have actually done all of your reports"

Tony couldn't help but stare at McGee "You have a date? With who? No you don't!"

Tim couldn't help but be ruffled by Tony's assumption that he was completely undate worthy and frowned "What's wrong with me having a date? I could have a date. Anyway it none of your business Tony."

Tony frowned as McGee busied himself back into his work, still grinning. Huh a date yeah right…. Still maybe he could slip out and follow McGee….. maybe just take a peek through binoculars….just so he didn't disturb them… on their _date_.

How did McGee get a date so fast? Was he that forgettable that Tim could simply let him go so fast? Tony knew he had some faults but still… he was a bit of a catch. Ok so maybe he had not been responding to some pretty big moves on McGee's part but still what did the guy want him to do? Declare his undying love for him? Write him a poem? Pin him up against the lockers and kiss him?

Hummmmmmm kissing…….

Tony drifted off for a moment at that idea and suddenly found Gibbs glaring at him.

"Right Boss. Sorry. Reports."

Tony busied himself with shuffling paper from one pile to another while glancing across to where Tim sat, a happy grin plastered across his face and eyes glued to his monitor. Something was up. Something was definitely up……..

Suddenly a thought so new it struck Tony and felt like a bolt of lightening. What if the date was another _guy_? Was that why Tim was being coy? Because it wasn't a woman at all? So was he suddenly competing with a gorgeous sandy blonde physicist called David?

Tony sniffed to himself. No Tim like brunettes, everyone knew that. Tony automatically ran his hand through his own dark locks ensuring they fell just right.

Still Tony began considering how to slip out and find out just what Tim was up to. I mean it was his duty. As his _friend._ A naive guy like Tim could find himself in a lot of trouble just wandering off with strange men willy nilly. Who knows what he could end up handcuffed to in the morning? Besides he didn't want Tim to get lured into some relationship with a strange guy just because he was suffering some hurt feelings and confusion from being on the re bound. Tony would never forgive himself. Tim was just too sweet and nice and gentle and smelled great…….

Tony watched Tim even more eagerly and when he headed down to Abby lab with some reports he practically hurled himself at McGee's desk settling down behind the monitor and pulling up whatever he had last been looking at.

Justin Lucas – Auctioneer

There was a photo beside the company description and damn… he was gorgeous. Tall, maybe 6 '2 dark curling hair, say late 30's and with that well dressed elegance that screamed education. Tony hated him on sight.

Tony looked down at a note scribbled on a post it beside the keyboard.

_Justin_

_6.30pm Tues_

_Georgetown_

Slashed across the note in Tim's precise hand was one word. _Perfect!_

Tony almost snarled. He wasn't perfect. Hell Tim couldn't have even met him more than once? Had he?

"What are you dong Tony?" Gibbs frowned at Tony behind McGee's computer. This normally meant Tony had done something dreadful to his computer…. Or was about to do something to McGee's.

"Ahh nothing Boss…. Just checking something" Tony shot back to his desk and looked busy. Oh yeah he was going to be there tomorrow night and make sure that Tim didn't get into any trouble with Mr Perfect.

Just as a friend.

Because that's what friends do ….make sure that handsome auctioneers didn't want a taste of other friends Strawberry Chap Stick.

(

_(Dear oh dear I don't think this is going to end well... Thanks for reading and reviewing. Please let me know what you think. Precious.)_


	11. Chapter 11

Right that's it! There were far too many smiles and hair touches going on for his liking. Tony stashed the binoculars back into his car and started making his way through the Georgetown crowd. Mr Perfect bloody Justin Lucas wasn't going to lure poor innocent Timmy into his car to do lurid things to him while he was on Tony's watch. Oh no…. that was Tony's job….

No wait…. it wasn't….. don't think about it Tony…. Freudian slip there….. as a _friend_…. You're here as a friend. Yeah that sounded better.

"Tony! What the hell are you doing here?" Tim stared amazed as Tony practically stormed over and reaching across Mr Lucas slammed the door of his car closed.

"I don't think so buddy….. you keep those pretty hands of yours where I can see them"

"Ummmmm hello?" Mr Lucas was slightly surprised when 'Tony' apparently the recipient of the supposedly surprise gift turned up with a rather frightening glare on his face.

"Tony…what are you doing? You have spoiled everything now. Why do you have to go and spoil everything" Tim felt like flinging his hands up in frustration. What was Tony doing here of all places? It was supposed to be a surprise and he was supposed to be at work!

"Oh I spoiled it have I? This little date you have going on the side? "

"What are you talking about Tony? Did you have a particularly _big_ bowl of _stupid_ this morning?" Tim frowned trying to work out why Tony was so mad. Shouldn't he be the one that was mad?

The light went off for Mr Lucas and he smiled politely "Oh when Mr Gemcity said he was getting it for his partner … I didn't realize he meant his _life_ partner. So you two are a couple then?"

"No"

"No"

"Oh…… right then. Ahhh sorry about that…." Mr Lucas trailed off slightly uncomfortably.

"Wait…. Tony did you FOLLOW me here? Is that what you did?" Tim couldn't believe it. Was Tony stalking him?

Tony suddenly faced with an angry Tim considered that his actions if taken out of context might seem just a little odd…..

"Ahhh well….. I might have…been worried about you…….and thought I would just…… swing past to see if you were alright?"

"So you just happened to be in Georgetown at this time of night….instead of at work….and you just happened to see me in this particular car park? Really? That's a bit of a coincidence isn't it?" Tim glared at Tony accusingly.

"Ummm I'm sorry to interrupt…. but I really need to go pick my wife up from her yoga class. The Auction house has already cleared your payment Mr Gemcity and since you didn't want to wait until tomorrow to collect the item may I give it to your now?"

Mr Lucas eyed the two arguing men as they turned to look at him. Not partners…..right.

Tony started "Wait…. What? What are you dropping off? And you're married? Does your wife know you're off in empty car parks with strange men?"

Tim's jaw dropped "WHAT? You think I'm here…. What to seduce him or something? Are you crazy?"

Mr Lucas laughed and held up his hands "Oh I think there has been a bit of a misunderstanding here. I'm simply here to drop an item off. Mr Gemcity was the successful bidder on the last lot we auctioned this afternoon and as he was so keen to get hold of it I offered to drop it off to him personally."

Mr Lucas reached into the back seat of his car and took out a large white cardboard box with the Auction house emblem stamped in gold on the front of it.

"Mr Gemcity" Mr Lucas presented the box to Tim with a flourish.

"I hope it meets up to your expectations. It's quite the collector's item. I hope you don't mind but I really must go and collect my wife. She does worry if I'm late. "

"Thank you Mr Lucas…. And I'm terribly sorry about my friend's behavior. Please excuse him………… he's an idiot" Tim shot Tony an angry look while Mr Lucas waved it off with a smile before driving out of the car park.

Tim turned on Tony "You…..you…….. you followed me…..you insult me…..you embarrass me! Here just take it. It was meant to be a gift. From me to you… I was hoping …….…never mind"

Tim slammed the wide but shallow white box into Tony's chest and stormed off towards his car muttering to himself. Oh he had to fall for Tony DiNozzo…oh not someone with a brain in his head… oh no…someone who either didn't talk to him…or pushed him…or insulted him…or ignored him….or stalked him………

Tim suddenly screeched to a halt in the middle of the nearly deserted car park as the cogs in his own brain turned and with fire in his eyes turned and stormed back towards Tony.

Tony watched as Tim walked off and his curiosity overwhelmed him and he lay the box down and gently lifted off the now slightly battered cardboard lid.

"Oh my God….." Tony's eyes grew wide and he almost stopped breathing. Reverently he swept his hand over the bright cotton print.

"Its……it's….."

"Yes Tony It Magnum P.I's _actual_ Hawaiian shirt. In fact it is _the _shirt. Red with palm trees on it. He wore it in the first episode and this particular shirt was worn more often than any other in the _entire_ series. It even has the TV Networks authenticity certificate with it which is _also_ signed by the shows creator D.P Bellisario. The shirt might be a little big for you as Tom Selleck was a big guy but I said no to having it framed. I figured you'd want to try it on and get your hands all over it."

Tony was awestruck He loved that show. He loved those shirts. And to actually have a real one? One that Tom Selleck might have sweated in? _The one_?

"Oh Tim…..it's perfect." Tony breathed out quietly

Tim scowled "Yes I know and you had to spoil it didn't you?"

Tony suddenly had the grace to be embarrassed as he knelt in the dust of the car park with his undoubtedly hugely expensive gift in front of him.

"You know what I just figured out Tony? I wanted to get you something so you would notice me. Something so great you would know I didn't mean it just as a friend but I just figured it out. You already knew that, didn't you? You have just been ignoring me! Letting me make a fool of myself. Haven't you? What, were you laughing at me behind my back? Some sort of sick joke was that it? What is up with you Tony? You followed me here all suspicious thinking I was off with another MAN and yet you had no intention of letting me know that you knew I was interested in YOU!"

Tony looked up as Tim stood there glaring at him ablaze with righteous anger

Tim didn't know when he had felt angrier. Ok it had been the other week when he was yelling at Tony …but this was different. This time he wasn't tired….he was just mad.

Tim reached down and grabbed Tony by the jacket lapels and hauled him up so he could shout at him from equal height.

"What did you think? I would just go away? You figure if you just ignored all my hints I would lose interest is that it? And so that way you wouldn't have to face YOURSELF? Is that it Tony?"

Tony squirmed as Tim stood tall and strong, his big eyes flashing and tried to squash the surge of desire he felt at the touch of the strong hands clutching his clothes.

"You know what Tony…..I did want something with you… a relationship…something that could have been special…but I don't think you could have handled it. You don't know the meaning of the word. You sneer and sneak around and you're jealous and possessive and uncommunicative……..

When I yelled at you in my apartment the other day, afterwards I thought hey that was because I was exhausted and I actually felt bad. I thought Tony didn't really deserve that. Well do you know what Tony? You do deserve all that and more. You seriously need to grow up Tony…"

The only thought Tony could keep in his head was that he desperately wanted to kiss Tim, crush his mouth to his and run his fingers through his hair…..

Tim watched as Tony's eyes sort of glazed over and he licked his lips.

"Arrgggg Tony what is wrong with you? I'm trying to have a serious argument with you and you're getting turned on aren't you? Well I'm sorry but I don't count a hard on as personal growth! Are you listening to me? Have you heard anything I have said?"

Tony suddenly blinked and reality rushed in around him. He pushed Tim hands off him angrily.

"Hey do you think I _want_ to be attracted to YOU! Because I _don't!_ I don't want to be thinking about you all the time _McGeek_. I don't want you being able to turn me on so much I can't think straight! I want to be back the way I was. I want to be _normal_ again and have normal thoughts in my head. I want to be a man who likes _woman_. End of story. Not you. So no I don't want to be like this and I just wish you would understand that. I don't want to want you…but I just do and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it!"

Tim stood back as if Tony had slapped him and his eyes betrayed his hurt and his shock at his friend's cruelty.

"You want to be _normal_? Is that it? So what am I for caring about you? Abnormal? Am I that _repulsive_ and _hideous_ you can't even bare the thought of me? What, you want to be a _real_ man? One who isn't like ME?" Tim hissed in his anger as he trembled in rage.

Tony stuttered and took a step back actually considering for a second that Tim might hit him.

"No! no of course not….I wasn't thinking….it just came out like that…..You know I don't mean it! Tim! Tim please!"

Tony cried out to his friend begging him to understand, to come back but it was too late.

Tim had turned on his heel and in a screech of tires his silver Porsche flashed out of the car park.

Tony stood alone in the dust with his broken gift at his feet.

(

_(Oh do please review and let me know what you think. Actually not too many chapters to go...I think maybe five? and I have already done one? Oh who knows with these two having too much fun messing with each other.)_


	12. Chapter 12

When Tony came into work the next day he knew instinctively that McGee wouldn't be at his desk. And he was right.

With a sigh he headed towards Abby's Lab knowing that McGee treated it as his own emotional bomb shelter…..and Abby could be a rather vicious warden. But still he deserved it. All of it. He deserved everything and more Tim was going to throw his way. But he was ready for it. In fact he wanted it. He wanted Tim to hurl venom back at him the way he had hurled it at him.

Perhaps then he would feel better. Tony sighed. Still knowing Tim he wasn't really capable of that sort of vengeance. He wasn't petty and immature. Not like he was.

Tim heard Tony's steps over the angry roar of the music. Abby hadn't asked. She had just taken one look at his eyes and allowed him some space.

"Tim?" Tony queried hesitantly and Tim felt the anger he thought he had managed to control surge fresh and cold through him.

Tim whirled and sarcastically flung up his hands to cover his face "It's the handsome Dark Prince DiNozzo! I shall avert my eyes from his great beauty less I am dazzled and turned crazed. I shall hide my own hideousness from his sight and retreat to live with the _Trolls_ in the slime under bridges as my disgusting visage requires!"

Tony didn't quite know how to respond to that.

"Umm Tim? I… was hoping we could talk? You know I don't find you………. ..disgusting….that's part of the problem. I'm sorry…..about lots of things but mostly what I said to you last night.."

Tim cut Tony off and turned back to his monitor.

"Abby, would you tell Senior Field Agent DiNozzo I am currently not speaking to him, unless it is required by work or Gibbs."

Abby opened her mouth fascinated at the two of them and Tony waived it off.

"I can hear him Abby…

"Abby. Please do as I ask" Tim voice was ice and Abby's eyes grew concerned. What the hell had Tony said to him?

"Special Agent McGee is longer speaking to Senior Field Agent DiNozzo unless it is required by work"

"Or Gibbs." Tim confirmed nodding

"Or Gibbs" Abby repeated.

Tony pleaded with his eyes " I really _really_ would like to talk to you Tim….in private. I'm not proud of what I said…."

Tim cut him off again "Abby would you tell Special Agent DiNozzo that he may talk as much as he likes but since I am not speaking to him then a conversation is going to be impossible. Until I forgive him that is"

Abby started "Special Agent DiNozzo…"

Tony jumped in eager at the gleam of forgiveness he could see offered.

"And when would that be?"

Tim turned back from the monitor his eyes had been boring holes into and faced Tony. He smiled grimly "Abby please tell Special Agent DiNozzo the answer to his question is………………………. _When hell freezes over_"

Tony just stared at Tim as he stood ridged in front of him, his jaw tight and his fists clenched at his sides.

"Tony …the answer to your question is …_when hell freezes over_" Abby felt quite pleased that she had managed to get the same cold intonation as Tim had used.

Tim turned and started for the door "I will see you later Abby"

Tony knew in a second he would be gone and suddenly he ran the few steps to the door and turned sideways blocking the doorway with his arm, preventing Tim's escape.

"No! I know I shouldn't have said what I did. We're going to talk about it…"

Tim kept right on coming, squeezing himself into the doorway beside Tony. Tony could feel the heat from Tim's body running from his thighs right up his stomach and chest as their bodies were pressed together in the small space. Hot. Hard. Masculine. Tony's heart hammered as Tim slowly leaned into the space beside Tony's ear and with hard eyes and soft open lips whispered _"Arsehole"_

And then he was gone.

Leaving Tony sagging, panting in the open doorway. He closed his eyes and banged his head repeatedly on the doorframe.

BANG

BANG

BANG

Abby just stood and watched him with folded arms.

"Tony….what the hell did you say to him? I don't think I have ever seen him so mad! I mean I see what you mean…. Totally hot but still…he's really mad!"

Tony just turned and glared at her. Well that hadn't gone very well. He would have preferred Tim screaming at him to the hard wounded eyes staring into his soul.

"So Tony what did you say to him? Come on spill"

Tony sighed and shuffled over to her workbench and dropped his heated cheek onto the hard cool surface.

"I told him how much I didn't want him. How I hated how much he turned me on. I told him I wanted to be _normal_."

Abby's mouth dropped open as she glared at Tony

"And what the hell brought that on?"

Tony sighed and rubbed his eyes

"He brought me a gift"

Abby frowned and Gibbs slapped the back of his head. Hard.

"You Idiot! He buys you a gift and you lash out at him? What is wrong with you?"

"It wasn't like that…. I…..…and then …….. Actually it was worse." Tony sighed and started banging his head on the counter.

BANG

BANG

BANG

Abby just watched, her arms folded across her chest.

Tony looked up pathetically "Aren't you going to stop me?"

"Nope. You deserve it"

"Abby please?" Tony looked up at her and she found herself relenting as she saw the real remorse and hurt in his eyes. She sat down beside him and patted his back as Tony continued to slouch face down onto the workbench.

"Well Tony, you've done it now. I do believe I did say something along the lines of if you're not careful you will loose him anyway….. so……. _I told you so_. There I have got that out of the way. Now what are you going to do?"

Tony sat up and looked at her sadly "I don't know Abby. I really screwed up this time and I don't know if he will forgive me"

Abby gave him a doubtful look "You don't know McGee that well do you? Don't worry he might be mad now but well ….eventually he will forgive you. It's McGee, he's a really nice guy and he wont be able to stay mad at you forever….anyway it's too tiring being that mad _all_ the time. He would have to take naps during the day and Gibbs wouldn't allow that."

Tony perked up a bit "Really? You think he would forgive me?"

Abby nodded and then looked thoughtful

"Still I have never seen him so mad that he .."

Abby threw her hands up in front of her face and slowly dramatically turned her face away mimicking the gesture Tim had used earlier

"turned to interpretive dance moves to express himself. He's getting all creative…which could be a bad thing for you."

Tony looked crestfallen again.

"Tony! Do you mind telling me why McGee can't even bring himself to say your name when I spoke to him just now?"

"Gibbs!" Tony and Abby jumped in alarm as Gibbs swept into the lab like a summer storm.

Abby bit her lip. This could be bad….

Tony tried to grin disarmingly "umm Probie and I are having…..a couple of issues at the moment?"

"What did you do Tony?" Gibbs glared at Tony and he winced.

"Ahhh what makes you think I did something to him and not the other way around?" Tony tried to sound defensive…and failed.

"Because I know you Tony… and I know McGee and if anyone is going to screw up a relationship around here it's going to be you."

"Wait….wait…. Probie and I aren't having a relationship!" Tony defended nervously.

Gibbs just rolled his eyes "Please the way you two have been carrying on…what the last couple of months now? Get serious Tony."

Tony just looked at Gibbs amazed " No I am serious Gibbs…..not a date…not a grope……not so much as a kiss. Honestly! I mean I know how you feel about Rule Twelve and all"

Gibbs just frowned at Tony, staring at him for a moment…and then he laughed.

Abby looked at Tony who shrugged. A laughing Gibbs was much better than an angry one but still …..sort of disturbing.

Gibbs looked at Tony who was looking confused and laughed harder, finally wiping tears from his eyes.

"Tony, Tony, Tony……. I created Rule Twelve to make sure the team didn't suffer when a relationship broke down. Only you could have created a situation where we get to experience the fallout without actually having a relationship in the first place."

Gibbs smirked to himself before continuing

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"ahhh about what?" Tony felt like he was having an argument on shifting sands as everything kept changing direction unexpectedly on him.

"McGee? Any idiot can see you have feelings for him and he wouldn't be so mad if he didn't care for you …so what are you going to do about it?"

"ahhhhhh fix it?" Tony said hopefully

"That a boy. I can't have half my team not talking to the other half……by the way Ziva will be taking McGee's side on this whatever you have done as well so you won't get any sympathy from her."

Gibbs gave Tony a gentle pat on the head "You know Tony I think you might just be growing up"

And with that Gibbs promptly left,leaving a vacuum of fierce silence in his wake.

Abby stared at Tony who was still trying to process the conversation. Everyone knew? And they didn't care?

Abby suddenly leapt off her chair and clapped her hands.

"Do you know what this means Tony? I think Gibbs just gave you and McGee his blessing!"

(

_(Hope your still enjoying it. Please review and let me know even just that your still reading. Precious)_


	13. Chapter 13

_You have reached the number Of Timothy McGee. Please clearly state your name, leave a message and I will return your call as soon as I am available. Thank you._

Gibbs watched Tony as he left yet another message on McGee's cell. It had been three days since whatever Tony had done to piss McGee off. Three days of McGee ignoring Tony. Three days of McGee specifically bringing only three cups of coffee into work in the morning. Three days of no nicknames, no flying balls of paper, no tricks and no laughter. Three days of sad eyed, quiet hurt that had reduced Tony to a blithering, apologizing, interrupting, frantic mess.

But this was different.

McGee was an hour and a half late for work and no one had seen or heard from him since the previous day. McGee was never late, not like this. This was no break down on the Beltway. Even if it was McGee would have called. Something. Gibbs watched as Tony's eyes slid across to his team mate's empty desk, yet again.

"DiNozzo!"

'Yeah Boss?"

"Get over to McGee's. He's probably been up all night online gaming or whatever it is he does and just slept in. Get him and bring him back to work. I don't care if you have to break into his apartment and throw him over your shoulder but you get him into work. See if you can work out this mess you've got yourself into while you at it."

"Yes Boss"

Tony with a grateful grin scooped up his bag and headed to the elevator at a jog. It felt good to be doing something. Something other than…._You have reached the number of…. _

Gibbs waited until Tony was swallowed up in the elevator then he turned to Abby who was nervously chewing on one of her pigtails and leaning against Ziva's desk.

"Ziva…. I want you to put a BOLO on McGee's car, Abby…… I want you to start calling around the hospitals……"

Abby's eyes grew worried and she bit her lip "Do you really think……?"

"It's just a precaution Abby…just being thorough. I'm sure Tony will have him back here in an hour"

Abby nodded. Being thorough. Yes that was important.

Ziva threw Gibbs a quick look and Gibbs didn't need to say anything for her to know that something felt wrong. Something in his gut.

Tony pounded on the door to Tim's apartment.

"Come on McGee I know you're in there! Let me in! You are crazy late for work and Gibbs told me to come and get you. So let me in! McGee! If you're asleep in there I'm going to kill you myself…and then Gibbs will…and then Abby for making us worry."

Tony swung his bag down and pulled out his lock pick tools

"McGee I'm going to break in…..now don't be mad…or well madder than you already are at me but Gibbs told me to. So yell at him…but I'm coming in anyway so you might as well let me in!"

When there was no response Tony quickly picked the lock and with a nervous breath pushed the door open.

Tony stood in the middle of McGee's tiny apartment and felt the silence that indicated it was empty. As a precaution he called out anyway "McGee?"

Silence.

Where the hell could he be?

Tony frowned and started to have a look around. Maybe there was something here to say where he went?

Tony instinctively turned and walked over to the typewriter where it sat on Tim's writing desk. It had once seemed so strange to Tony that he chose to write on a typewriter rather than using the computer at which he was so skilled. Now that Tony had gotten to know the man underneath the Federal Agent Geek façade he could imagine him no other way, than slightly hunched over his ancient typewriter banging away fiercely as his thoughts became reality on the blank pages.

There was a page already in the typewriter, a letter incomplete. Tony peered over and quickly wound the page out when he saw who it was addressed to at the top.

_Dear Tony,_

_It seems we cannot simply speak freely to each other….at least about the things that really matter to us. Too much stands between us and honesty, including ourselves. _

_And so I attempt to write this letter while I sit calmly in the quiet darkness and hope that I can say clearly what I cannot say when I stand in front of you._

_I hope you will forgive me my cowardice but I do not wish to turn the divide between us into a canyon…because whatever happens in the future you were a good and true friend. And there are few enough of those in the world to simply toss one away._

_I love you_

_That is a truth that I cannot deny, like gravity or the strength of Gibbs' coffee._

_I love you. _

_There is a freedom, a weight lifted from my shoulders that once I give you this letter that at least this once I have told you. What you do with that knowledge is your own challenge._

_I can see you struggling and I would like to help but as it is me against whom you are struggling it seems hopeless. This is all a surprise to me as well but perhaps I am less concerned because I have less to loose and more to gain than you?_

_Because I can see so much to gain from being able to truly love you Anthony DiNozzo and I would like to show you the truth of a real relationship as no one else has taken the time to. _

_I would hope that you would consider loving me in return. But if it causes you such despair and anguish that you must resort to anger then please allow me to quietly leave the team and hopefully one day we can return to each other in friendship._

_You said that you wanted to be a man, nothing more. A normal man. Well Tony a man can be a mighty thing and a man is more than who they chose to have sex with. A man is about standing up for what they know is right even when it is painful, a man is about telling the truth, standing up for his friends, protecting his family, doing what is right and not just when that is easy._

_There is so much I don't know how to say to you and I just wish_

The letter ended there unfinished.

Tony stood with the letter clutched in his hand, reading and re reading. Even though it was addressed to him it was as if he had reached inside Tim's private thoughts and laid them bare. Not Federal Agent computer genius McGee, but these were the private thoughts of passionate and tender late night poet Timothy. A man Tony had rarely met except in brief dazzling glances.

Tony was swallowed in a riot of emotions as he paced back and forth across the tiny open space.

Where was Tim? Why hadn't he finished the letter? Was he still planning on giving it to him or would the letter be burnt and its tender declarations destroyed? What if Tim found him with the unfinished letter and felt that Tony had once again pushed him too far?

Timothy McGee loved him.

Tony stood stock still in rapture of the realization. Not just liked, or was keen on, or thought was attractive, or would do for now. This was an honest to goodness declaration of intent.

Tony DiNozzo was loved. Loved for his faults as much for his strengths. Loved by someone who knew him well enough to know when he was lying, when he was in pain, when he was trying to push them away.

Tony felt tears prickling at his eyes and he blinked them away as he gloried in the sensation of someone good, kind, honest and true risking everything they had to tell him he was loved.

Tony suddenly jumped in alarm as his phone rang shattering the silence and he crushed the precious letter into his fist.

"Abby? I'm at McGee's apartment…..and he's not here. I don't know…"

"Tony!"

Tony's heart plunged from its dangerous soaring giddy heights at the tears in Abby voice.

"What's wrong?"

"We think we found McGee…he's been stabbed."

(

_(Oh do please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading Precious)_


	14. Chapter 14

Tony literally skidded past the admittance desk of the hospital in his haste and turning wildly, frantically saw Abby, Gibbs and Ziva walking quickly towards him.

A thousand thoughts were colliding in his head and he couldn't get them into any order to enable him to speak. Suddenly he found himself swept into an Abby hug, which took away his capacity to breath as well as speak.

"Its ok Tony…..it might not be him……just because he fits the description….and McGee's car was reported a few feet from where this guy was injured….and McGee isn't answering his phone…….it might not be him. Oh Tony I don't know if I want it to be him because then we at least know where he is or if I don't because then McGee might be ok but still out there somewhere!"

A single thought was all Tony could hold onto and it was like a bright beacon of light in his head.

Timothy McGee _loved_ him.

He would NOT loose him before he got the chance to see him again.

"Are you the people from NCIS?" A doctor complete with white coat materialized beside them, smiling and was suddenly mobbed.

"Please, please… I will take you to see him. I'm hoping you can identify him for us. All we know is that last night he stepped in to stop a mugging and possible rape of a young woman by three attackers. It turned violent and she was knocked out in the scuffle. When she came to her rescuer was unconscious and bleeding out from a single knife wound. They had taken his wallet and he never got the chance to tell her his name. She then managed to raise the alarm. The stab wound actually isn't that serious but what caused concern is that it was untreated for a period of time and he lost a lot of blood and is very weak. The EMT's managed to get his first name out of him before he passed out again. Lets see…"

The doctor flipped through the chart he was carrying as he walked briskly through the harsh white cold corridors with the others trailing along desperately.

"Oh yes…. Tony"

Tony literally reeled as he saw Tim, alone and bleeding out in a cold dark alleyway calling out to him, his big eyes huge with panic and despair as he felt his strength and consciousness slipping away from him along with the growing pool of hot blood surrounding him.

"No no no no no no no no ….." Tony hadn't realized that he had been speaking aloud and then he felt Ziva's warm hand slip around his waist and he leaned into her.

Gibbs' blue eyes were hard as he watched his Senior Agent nearly buckle to his knees.

"Take us too him. We need to know."

The Doctor simply nodded and continued his brisk pace deeper into the hospital.

"Here we are. Our John Doe….or Tony Doe…as the case may be."

There was a split second rush for the doorway before the others allowed Gibbs to walk through. The four people stood clustered, shocked around the hospital bed of a stranger.

"That's him" Gibbs confirmed knowing that underneath the unfamiliar weak and pale shadow the man known and loved as Timothy McGee still resided.

The Doctor nodded. "Alright. May I ask his name then?"

"NCIS Special Agent Timothy McGee"

As Gibbs named him, Abby exhaled in a long sobbing sigh and reaching out gently stroked the unbruised side of his face.

"He will be ok…he's just very weak right now. We are waiting for him to fully regain consciousness. It might take a while and generally leaving the body to recover from the shock of massive blood loss at its own pace is best. You may stay if you wish, just don't disturb him too much. I can be reached through any of the nurses on this floor. I'm Doctor Richards by the way."

Gibbs nodded, acknowledging the information before turning back to look at his young agent.

"Tony? Tony? He's going to be ok…Tony?" Tony could hear Ziva's concerned voice coming from very far away and he blinked and nodded. He looked down at the rustling sound and realized that he still held Tim's letter crushed in his fist.

Okay. He's going to be okay.

Was this what it felt like to love and to be loved in return? Love steel bands constricting your chest so you think you can't breathe and a pain in your throat as you try and swallow the terror of loss?

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Hours had gone by and still he laid there, his breathing and the machines the only indication he lived. Tony had gradually inched closer to Tim until his chair was right beside the bed and he didn't notice Abby and Ziva catch each others eyes and nod towards the door.

"Hey Tony… Ziva and I are going to step out for a minute. Can we get you anything? Coffee or something to eat?" Abby was gentle as she watched her friend with worried eyes.

Tony just shook his head silent, his eyes never leaving Tim's scratched and bruised face. Abby and Ziva slipped out to give Tony a minute with Tim to himself.

"Hey there Timmy……." Tony's voice was soft as he reached across and once again gently swept Tim's silky fine hair off his forehead with the tips of his fingers.

"I hope you don't mind but I read your letter… I don't know if you ever really meant for me to read it but I'm glad I did. Please don't be mad…. We were worried about you…..and it seems with good reason. See what happens when I'm not around to keep you out of trouble?"

Tony's voice trailed off into the silence of the room.

"I need you to wake up now Tim. I need you to tell me that everything is going to be alright. Because I realize that I can't stand to see you like this. There is so much I need to tell you….so much I want to show you…….. you were right you know about what it really means to be a man. I realized that you are the best man I know and I could do a lot worse than be more like you. You are strong, brave, fearless, caring, gentle, smart and really oh so beautiful……

So Tim …I need to tell you you're the man for me…in every sense of the word."

Tony stood and leaning forward gently kissed Tim softly on the mouth.

"I love you Timothy" He whispered quietly as the tears threatened to spill down his cheeks.

He leaned back and watched for a reaction and then gave a sad laugh at himself.

"Wake up sleeping beauty….. your not so Prince Charming has just declared his love for you…….." Tony sighed and sat back down

"You're not going to make this easy on me are you? Well you know Tim…that's ok. Because I can handle it. I'm through with the freak outs and the panic attacks…..and instead of fighting against you I'm just going to go with it."

Tony stroked Tim's long fingered hand lying beside him on the bed.

"You know this is the longest conversation we've had in weeks? I've missed it ..you know being able to talk to you, laugh with you. You have a beautiful laugh. Did you know that? Your eyes spark and go all mischeivy…… I don't think that's a proper word but it's what I think when I see you laugh.

I just realized…. You missed our first kiss. You see what happens when you sleep too long? So Tim, Timmy you really should wake up soon… and maybe if you're lucky I will kiss you again."

Gibbs watched quietly from the doorway as his Senior Field Agent, his eyes flooded with unshed tears placed a gentle kiss on the lips of the unconscious man.

Aw Hell DiNozzo. You big idiot. Finally…..maybe now they might all get some work done.

"Awwwww that is too cute. " Abby sniffed quietly, suddenly appearing at Gibbs' side.

"I think McGee is too good for him really… but then there is no accounting for taste" Ziva quietly teased from Gibbs' other side.

Gibbs frowned at the two giggling woman.

"Don't you two have…..coffee to buy or something? Shoo "

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim woke from the darkness to find Tony asleep, his dark head pillowed on his arms on the edge of his bed beside him and his letter still held tightly in his fist.

A kiss…had he dreamed it? Tony loved him?

He glanced down at Tony's face to see the little smile playing against his lips.

No.

Tim managed to move his hand through the quicksand it seemed to be placed in and lay it gently on top of the sleeping mans head.

Silly Tony. He could talk his way out of a hostage situation but write the man a letter and he went all to pieces.

With a soft sigh Tim allowed himself to fall back into the comforting darkness with the smell of Tony's shampoo and the touch of his hand keeping any nightmares at bay.

He was safe. He was loved.

(

_(Awwww thought you all deserved some love after the anxiety. But still Tony having a 'boyfriend"? Im making myself laugh. Those two trouble makers together are going to be a worry. Please let me know what you think and review. I will keep the sex out of this story and will write their first time as a seperate story M rated for those interested. But still a few chapters off yet i think. Precious)_


	15. Chapter 15

"hum hummm hum mm…

"hum hummm hum mm….himmmm hum hummm…."

"Tony!"

"What?"

"You are humming. It is driving me crazy"

"No I'm not"

"Yes you are. Just because we are going to the hospital to see McGee and your happy about it I don't think you need to hum at me."

"I am not humming……And I'm especially not humming just because we're going to see McGee."

"Fine then"

Tony tightened his hold on the gift he had got for Tim. It wasn't a Magnum PI Hawaiian shirt but still he hoped Tim would like it. He had it gift wrapped and the box was tied with a big bow and tucked securely under his arm.

"hum hummm hum mm….himmmm hum hummm…."

"Tony!"

Tony and Ziva approached McGee's hospital room only to hear a woman's laugh. Tony narrowed his eyes as they stepped in the room to find a very attractive nurse, smiling prettily at Tim.

"Ahem" Tony cleared this throat significantly and Tim looked up while the nurse smoothed the covers on the bed.

"Hello" Tim smiled at Tony and Tony felt his toes curl as Tim flashed his big green eyes adoringly at him.

"Ahh Hi"

"Well since you have guests, I should go Tim"

_Tim??_

The nurse stopped at the door and then turned to look at Tim.

"I was wondering ….well once you're better and out of here, would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

Tim smiled and flushed "Thanks …but….well actually…I'm kind of …ah …seeing someone at the moment"

Tony grinned.

The nurse, Kirsten judging by the name badge she wore caught Ziva's eye with a smile and then sighed.

"I should have known a great guy like you would be taken. They all seem to be taken….or gay"

Kirsten disappeared around the door with a smile and a wave while Ziva smothered her laugh. Tony shot her a dirty look while Tim squirmed.

Tony came over and sat beside Tim and presented his gift with a flourish.

"I thought I would get you something….looks like I was just in time. Can't have you being chatted up by cute nurses while I'm not around to defend you."

Tim smiled his eyes warm. "You were jealous"

"No I wasn't! In fact …..I was ….being checked by a nurse just before we came in!"

Ziva rolled her eyes "No you weren't. You didn't even see them walking past. You were too busy humming and smiling and telling me how many days until McGee gets to come home."

Tim smiled and Tony threw his hands up in the air "Ziva! Don't tell him that"

"Why? What's wrong with telling your boyfriend that you are eager to see him?"

"Hey McGee's not my _Boyfriend_. We haven't even been on a date yet…I mean Boyfriend is a bit serious isn't it?"

"Whatever Tony"

Tony turned laughing to Tim and saw the happy look of earlier was replaced with a slightly sad, kicked puppy expression that made Tony want to kiss the little frowny face away.

Tony suddenly shoved the box at Tim and shot a glare over at Ziva. Oh he was so talking to her in the car on the way back to work.

"Here McGee. I got you a present. Its not as great as the one you got me ….but still I hope you like it"

Tim cheered up a bit as he settled back into the plumped up pillows and opened the box.

"It's a shirt. Oh Tony it's really nice. Wow"

Tim carefully pulled out the rich sky blue dress shirt with fine pin stripes running through it, out of its tissue wrapping. The cotton was so fine and rich it felt like silk in his hands and the fine white stripe caught the light like gossamer. The tiny mother of pearl buttons glimmered in the soft light and Tim knew it would fit to perfection.

Tony grinned smugly as he saw Tim's eyes widen in appreciation

"I thought you might like it. The color is called French Blue. You don't really have any nice dress shirts I like so I thought I would buy you one. Can't be taking you out looking …well you know…McGeeish."

"Are you saying you don't like the way I dress?' Tim frowned

"No no….I mean you dress fine….well much better than you use to. God you used to be terrible! I mean bad. Really bad. Thank god you spent some money on your wardrobe. It was a little embarrassing. Now it's just that you lack a little…..flair. You know you're kind of boring. I figure it would be good to see you in some stuff that's a bit edgier. You know?"

Tim turned to look at Tony, with a hurt look on this face.

"Is this gift your way of saying you don't want to be seen with someone as _boring_ as me then? The way I dress isn't good enough for you?"

Tony sat very still and replayed his gift over in his head. It wasn't meant to go like this. Tim was supposed to be pleased with his present, not cross at him.

"So….you don't like the shirt?" Tony was a bit confused

"Of course I like the shirt. It's fantastic….What I object to is you telling me I'm boring and a terrible dresser."

Tony laughed "But you are!"

Tim quietly folded the shirt and put it back in the box.

"I'm feeling a bit tired so if you don't mind I'm going to get some sleep now. Say Hi to Abby. Thanks ZIVA …for coming down."

Tony frowned. Had he just been dismissed?

"Um ok…well I will come by later then?"

Tony awkwardly stood not quite certain of what to do. Should he kiss Tim goodbye? Maybe on the cheek? Shake his hand? Give him a hug? What did gay guys do when they said goodbye. Sing?

"Yeah …whatever" Tim didn't meet his eyes and just rolled over and faced the window.

Ziva dragged Tony out of the room and out to the car while Tony protested.

"I don't understand? Why did he get so mad at me? I mean I brought him a gift AND I came over to see him. He was the one being fawned all over!"

Ziva just sighed "Man the two of you! Your not very good at this relationship thing are you Tony"

"Well I haven't had much practice….but I thought that I was doing ok."

"Tony, in the space of two minutes you clearly said McGee _wasn't_ your boyfriend, you didn't like the way he dresses, he used to embarrass you and that you consider him boring. Oh and worst of all you _laughed_ at him when he objected."

Tony pouted "But…but I brought him that shirt because the blue color would make his eyes look fantastic….…really show up the green……..and he has such pretty eyes."

Ziva groaned "Well why didn't you tell him THAT instead of insulting him a dozen times over?"

Tony just looked out the window and sighed "Ziva, this relationship stuff sucks"

"Welcome to the real world Tony. By the way you better get used to it. If you and McGee break up before you even end up going out Gibbs is going to kill you. Oh and Abby"

"What about you?"

Ziva smiled smugly "I might just have to go comfort McGee through his heartbreak"

Tony shot Ziva a dirty look and she laughed "What? I think he's too good for you. Cute, smart, polite, famous, rich, sweet……. Besides if Gibbs is willing to look the other way on the whole Rule Twelve thing…."

"You are kidding? Aren't you?"

Ziva just smiled and shrugged as she sped through the traffic.

"Well if you don't want him……."

Tony watched her for a moment before he burst out angrily "Don't you dare! That's my boyfriend you're talking about there."

"Oh so he's your boyfriend now is he? Are you going to tell McGee that?"

"Just shut up Ziva."

"Well that's really mature Tony"

Tony turned and poked his tongue out at Ziva "nnhhhhh" before sulking and looking out the window.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Tim sighed and looked out the window. Stupid DiNozzo had to go and spoil it all. He had been so looking forward to seeing him. And then he just had to open his big stupid mouth.

Tim took a deep breath. Look he knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Nothing Tony ever did was easy. Look at the good points.

1, He did come to see you

2, He was excited to see you

3, He was jealous. (This instantly put Tim in a better mood)

4, He brought you a gift (even if he did insult you when trying to give it to you)

Okay so he didn't get an I love you, I miss you, or even a kiss. Ok so patience this was going to just take some time.

In a few days he was going to be able to get out of here and maybe they could spend some time together where Tony didn't insult him.

Boring? Lacking in flair? Embarrassing? Huh

Well he was going to show Tony. Tim reached over and grabbed his laptop with wireless connection and prepared himself to spend some money.

Silk. Black silk. Yeah

He was going to look so smoking hot Tony would be throwing himself at his knees and begging him to be his boyfriend!

_(Thanks to those reviewing and alerting. And please keep it up as its really helping me stay on the quick updates.)_


	16. Chapter 16

Tony thought carefully. Ziva was right. He wasn't very good at this sort of stuff. Tim was important to him and he didn't want to stuff it up. Again. Maybe he should just talk to him? Surely he would understand that he just wanted to take it slow?

Tony had strange intense couple visions of McGee family Christmas's complete with his own embroidered stocking over the fireplace, joint holidays, picking up each others dry cleaning, and arguing over groceries. These slightly concerning images were balanced out by the desire to have endless long snuggling sessions on his couch as he introduced Tim to his immense DVD collection.

There was something about the idea of holding Tim in his arms as he explained in detail Hitchcock's brilliance while he dropped little kisses onto his silky hair as he cuddled into him……………while Tim slept.

Tony caught himself smiling as he picked up the phone to call his…._boyfriend_

He picked up the phone and dialed Tim's extension at the hospital

"Hey there …Tim. How are you doing?"

Tony could hear the smile in Tim's voice. "Hi Tony. Oh better….a bit tired still but mostly just bored. Rebecca, that's the girl from the alley and her entire family, came to visit and thank me for stepping in to try and save her. It was a bit embarrassing really as instead of rescuing her she got knocked out and I got stabbed.

Some great Federal Agent I turned out to be. Still she thinks that if I hadn't stepped in they would have killed her. Those guys were pretty crazy and on drugs definitely.

But I have some good news. The composite sketch I did of the three guys along with her description seems to have helped and apparently they have the three of them under arrest. It seems they were already known to local police and they just needed some evidence to bring them in. I must admit I'm pretty glad they aren't roaming around out there anymore."

Tony realized that having the three men who attacked and stabbed him wandering the streets must have bothered him. And how Tim hadn't really mentioned the attack or how he felt about it to anyone. Except to say that he was fine.

Tony's voice was soft "So how are you Tim? How are you really?"

"The stitches are starting to itch…….." Tim avoided the actual question

"No Tim I mean how do you _feel_ about the attack?"

There was a pause and Tony could hear Tim considering how to answer the question

"I'm fine really Tony. No nightmares or anything. It was scary…for a moment lying there wondering if help would come….would come in time. But it did and really I'm fine."

Tim smiled thinking that if some pain and a few days in hospital was what it took to get Tony DiNozzo to admit his feelings for him then it was well worth it.

"It's good to hear from you Tony….I have been thinking about you… a lot….They won't let me do anything and to be honest I'm looking forward to be able to come back to work. I mean it's bad when filing and paperwork seems exciting"

Tony laughed happy to hear Tim already sounding so much stronger. He would be fine. And Tony would look after him and make sure he stayed fine.

"Well I'm…looking forward to seeing you back at work. I wanted to apologize for earlier…about being a bit of a jerk. I really didn't mean to be…which is why I'm calling. I think I have been giving you grief for so long I don't know how to talk to you without it. But I am hoping to try….. I really would like to see you…….well you know _date you_ not just _see you_ as I mean we will see each other everyday anyway…..? I don't know if I'm making sense here but well I was hoping to ease into this whole….well _us_ thing…you know just kind of date _casually_ for a while….you know before …well it's a lot to take in all at once. You know people at work knowing that we are…well not just partners….but _partners._"

Tony paused and waited for a response.

"uhhh well ok if that's what you want.." Tim felt the disappointment as a bitter taste in his mouth

"Oh great. Yeah I think it would be better. You know take the pressure off. Phew. Ok glad we're on the same page. You know lets just take one thing, one day at a time."

"Uhhh yeah…I kind of wanted to know where you were at too…so I'm glad you cleared that up. _Casual_." Tim tried not to bite off the word and spit it across the room.

A doctor stepped into the doorway and waited for Tim to finish up his call before checking his progress

"Well I should go. They want to check out my stitches. I will see you at work. Thanks for…thanks for calling Tony"

"Oh ….ok I will see you soon"

Tony put the phone down and sighed happily. Ok everything was finally going well. They were going to take it slow and steady and just see where things ended up. Now what sort of snacks did Tim like? He should make sure his fridge was stocked. Okay so Tim may not be up for an all night movie marathon quite yet but his education should start somewhere. Now where were his keys……? Wait maybe he should clean up his apartment first? Tim was kind of a neat and tidy guy. What would he say if he saw Tony's apartment littered in Chinese takeout boxes and girly magazines?

With a sigh Tony pulled up his sleeves and started cleaning. Man he hoped Tim was worth it! Tony remembered the sensation of Tim's strong long fingered hands bunched in his shirt as he pinned him to the lockers and smiled as he discovered exactly where that third slice of pizza from the other night had gone.

Tim put the phone down and felt like crying. What had gone wrong? One moment Tony is whispering his love and the next he's backing off. Way off. Casual? Tim knew painfully all about casual. Abby had taught him that. Soon casual would become an ocassional dinner and then eventually nothing. Tony didn't even have the guts to tell him in person. He did it over the _phone_. So what unconscious and near death was one thing but alive and kicking was another?

Tim remembered how Tony had told him he loved him once when he had hauled him over the edge of the concrete barrier at the parking garage. Was it like that? A declaration made in the heat of the moment under extreme emotional duress?

And now that he was getting better, now that Tony would have to face him at work everyday was Tony having second thoughts?

McGee was back today! Tony had visited McGee in the hospital and while he had been resting at home but not often, not for long and not alone. Their case work hadn't disappeared even though they were one team member down and Tony was looking forward to being able to resume their easy camaraderie around the office.

He might even return his paperclips. Although he would keep one….the one he had twisted into a heart shape. That was no good as a paperclip anymore anyway.

Tony privately hoped Tim would wear the French Blue shirt he brought him. He couldn't wait to ask Tim to come over to his place for dinner. He really wanted to spend some time alone with him and just hang out together. He didn't like to think about anything beyond there as it made him both blush and kind of get nervous.

Tony shook his head at himself. Who knew that he would be getting all giggly about asking Probie over to dinner?

He got into the office early in anticipation and was now eagerly watching the elevator doors from his prime location at his desk.

Ding

McGee?

Tony stared at the slightly familiar man walking towards him. Where had his pretty, sweet Timmy gone? Who the hell was this Euro Stud strolling off the elevator? Was McGee wearing a black silk shirt? With the top buttons undone? Jewellry? He had to admit Tim looked sharp, razor sharp in his sleek black suit but he didn't like the approving looks he was getting as he walked off the elevator.

Tim felt good. He felt sharp, he felt edgy. He hoped Tony would appreciate all the effort he had taken to make him proud of him. Or at least not so embarrassed about dating the office 'Geek' He had already received a few admiring glances his way so he can't have done too badly?

All the things Tony had been going to say to Tim when he walked back into the office for the first time fell away and instead he came out with.."Aren't you a bit over dressed for the office McGee?'

Tim's face fell and he stopped in front of Tony's desk. "Don't you like the way I look?"

"Well …I mean sure…it's just not very practical is it?"

"Well it not like I'm going out in the field yet so yeah I'm sure I'm dressed well enough to handle some filing and reports" Tim tried to respond coolly and walked over to the security of his desk in disappointment.

Tony glared at Agent Sommers who was peeking over the edge of the divider with a leering grin on her face. Damn McGee and his silky black shirt….that made Tony ….and apparently others want to run their hands all over Tim's broad chest.

Tim tried to look confident, although nothing seemed to be working out the way he had wanted. Tony seemed to be paying attention to him but he didn't seem to be happy with what he was wearing. He thought Tony wanted him to be 'edgy'? Well he had been assured he was dressed as sharp as he could possibly get away with…unless he rocked up to work in a formal dinner suit and tie.

"Are those boots McGee?"

Tony saw Tim leaning back in his chair and prop his feet up on his desk. Instead of his normal rather boring shoes or occasional suede sneaker he seemed to be wearing short black leather ankle boots with a savage silver buckle.

"Yes they are"

"What sort of leather are they? They look..different"

"It's crocodile"

Tony stared "You're wearing Black crocodile leather _boots_…to work?"

Tim glared at him "Have you got a problem with that….DiNozzo?"

Tony could see Tim getting cross and backed off. He didn't want him to be cranky. He wanted him to be in a cuddling on the couch, laughing, kissy mood.

Tony glared again at Agent Sommers who appeared to have called over a girlfriend and Tim now had two women checking him out over the dividers. Grrrr Mine. Timothy McGee may not be completely aware of it yet but he was Tony's and he wasn't about to be swept away by some pretty blonde. Tony had come too far to back off now and he wasn't about to give up easily.

Why couldn't he just have worn his ordinary work clothes? Why was he trying to draw woman's attention all of a sudden? Wasn't he happy dating Tony? Or…well since they hadn't actually had a date yet..wasn't he happy knowing he was going to be dating Tony?

Tony made up his mind. He was going to claim Tim as his right in front of everyone and scuttlebutt be damned. Everyone would know sooner or later anyway. Yup he was going to walk right over to Tim and give him a kiss he would remember for the rest of the day. Maybe even the rest of his life!

Tony leaned down and suddenly Tim looked up, realization in his eyes. Tony turned his head to the right and leaned further in closing his eyes.

Tim sucked in a breath. Tony was going to kiss him! Here at work! Should he stand? Go left? Go right? Eyes open? Eyes closed?

Clunk

"Oww" Tim rubbed his head while Tony muttered, embarrassed "It was a lot easier to kiss you when you were unconscious"

Tim frowned "Yeah well ..it seems like a lot of things were a lot easier when I was unconscious"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Never mind"

"Is there something up with you?"

"Is there something up with _you?_" Tim asked back

"Look we can talk about it tonight…. I have organised dinner …for us ..back at my place"

"Oh…..I Can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

Well I have plans"

"You have plans?? Well I figured with….. you know …us …you would want to spend some time with me?"

"Well yeah….but you said you wanted to keep the pressure off…keep it light….keep it _casual_……so I accepted Kirsten's offer of a drink after work"

Tony was flabbergasted "The nurse? The nurse at the hospital? You're going for a drink with her instead of spending the night with me?"

The two men started at each other a canyon of misunderstanding opening up between them.

"Tony. Gear up. We've got a case"

"Yeah Boss" Tony turned away from Tim with hurt eyes and grabbed his bag from his desk.

"McGee?"

"Yeah Boss"

"Good to have you back. Since you're not cleared for field duty then go help Abby clear some of the stuff she has in front of her now. Looks like we will be bringing in some fresh work for her."

"Ok Boss" Tim watched confused as Tony disappeared into the lift without even looking at him.

Wasn't that what Tony had wanted? Wasn't he doing everything Tony had asked of him?

_(Sorry about the slightly longer time to update. Been shifting my work across to new NFA site and took up some time. Precious)_


	17. Chapter 17

Abby watched as Tim worked his way miserably through her lab helping her process evidence. He had that little furrow in his brow as if he was confused but wasn't sure what to do about it. He sighed almost constantly and didn't seem to realize he was doing it.

It was beginning to grate on Abby's nerves.

"So what has Tony done now?'

Tim's head shot up and he stared at Abby before sighing again.

"Nothing"

"Ok seriously McGee if you do that one more time"

'Do what?" Tim sighed listlessly as he shuffled hunch shouldered across the floor

"That!"

Abby marched over to McGee grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down onto a stool.

"Okay look just spill. Let's get this out of the way while I'm waiting for the next batch of results. What is up with you?"

Tim looked up at Abby with big wounded eyes. "I….I think Tony's breaking up with me…...but he just doesn't have the guts to tell me in person"

"Oh Timmy no…that can't be right? You two just seemed to be getting it together."

"Yeah well that's the thing I just don't know. I'm so confused. He seems to say one thing and then do something else. I mean he tried to kiss me today so why would he do that if he didn't want us to go out?"

"Oh really? Now that you _definitely_ have to tell me about. I bet Tony's a good kisser?" Abby practically clapped her hands in delight at the thought of her two closest male friends locking lips together

Tim hung his head and shook it despondently "It was terrible……like your worst first kiss ever. So embarrassing. We actually managed to bang our heads together."

"Oh Timmy. I'm sure it's not that bad?"

Tim looked at Abby again with big hopeful eyes that made Abby think of a basket of gorgeous wriggling puppies.

"I really hope it's not because…..I'm crazy for him and I don't know what to do about it"

"Oh McGee" Abby pulled him into a big hug as he sagged sadly against her shoulder.

Suddenly Abby's door slid open to reveal Tony holding a large box full of evidence bags. He stopped as he took in the sight of the two of them embracing before lowering his eyes.

"I'll…..I'll just leave these here and get out of your way"

"Oh no you don't Mister. No slinking out of here until you've explained yourself!"

Abby stood her hands on her hips ready to get to the bottom of this mess her friends seemed determined to throw themselves into.

"You! Stay there" Abby pointed imperiously at McGee who was about to sneak out of the lab.

"You! Sit over there!" Abby directed a rather alarmed Tony onto a stool in the opposite corner of her lab to where McGee sat.

"Right now. First things, first. Are you trying to break up with McGee?" Abby was strict and she waived her finger in Tony's face.

"What? No! He's the one going around dating nurses behind my back!"

"McGee!" Abby whirled astonished and stomped over to McGee.

"You never told me you were dating someone else? No wonder _Tony_ doesn't know what's going on."

McGee glared at Tony over Abby's shoulder "It's just a drink after work….besides he _told_ me he would prefer for us to date other people. To help keep the pressure off him so he could deal with the whole 'us' thing"

"Tony!" Abby processed this bit of information as she marched back across to Tony.

"You can't yell at him for doing something you asked him to do!"

Tony stood up from his stool indignant and glared back across the lab at Tim "I did NOT tell you to go date other people. Why on earth would I do that? Especially when I was looking forward to spending some time alone with you and ….." Tony trailed off and looked embarrassed while Abby considered Tony's reaction.

"So what did you tell him then? You must have said something to make McGee think that?"

"I SAID that I would like to take things slowly…between us….not to rush into anything."

"McGee?" Abby walked back over to Tim to see if he could throw any light on the situation.

"He SAID that he would like us to be _casual. _He didn't say he wanted to take things slowly. He definitely said casual. No commitment"

Tim was firm. He had spent a lot of time thinking about what Tony had said, replaying it over and over in his mind as he lay alone in his hospital bed.

"Ohhhhhh well if he said casual…well ..then yeah that's definitely still seeing other people"

Abby looked thoughtful as she considered the many conversations she had once had with Tim on this very topic while Tim nodded his agreement, glad for her support.

"No its not!" Tony interjected loudly across the room in his own defense "Casual is the same as you know….slow, relaxed, not rushing…….."

Abby turned and frowned at him with her hands back on her hips "Then why didn't you say you just wanted to take it SLOW then Tony? That would have made more sense. Everyone knows _slow_ is a totally different concept to _casual_"

Tony responded indignantly "Well maybe it's clear to you two but that definition certainly wasn't in my Gay Dating Handbook."

Tony felt himself wilt under Abby's intense defensive glare.

"I suppose I should have been more specific but well… I'm not used to talking about…. Well about how I feel. How I feel about ………well you know. McGee. I didn't really think about it enough I guess. I was nervous…..I didn't want to stuff it up."

Tony smiled embarrassed as he squirmed on his stool, peeking around Abby trying to see the man on the other side of the lab.

Abby smiled somewhat placated by Tony's admission of having _feelings._ Awwww.

"Well didn't you see that what you said was taken out of context by McGee's reaction? Aren't you supposed to have training in this sort of thing? You know reading suspects body language and expressions?" Abby was being scientific about this, trying to understand how they got so far apart so quickly.

Tony shuffled his feet "Ahhh well you see I …did it over the phone…I couldn't see his reaction and when I asked him…...he just said ….if that's the way I wanted it. Oh"

"Oh? You told him something like that over the _phone? _While he's on pain killing medication in the _hospital?_ Geez Tony. Maybe keep important conversations to when your partner isn't emotionally vulnerable AND on drugs."

Tony felt embarrassed as Abby shook her head at him and looked across to gauge Tim's reaction to all this. Tim was looking at him, his mouth hanging open and then he suddenly stood up, his eyes wide and shining.

"So you don't want to break up with me? You don't want us to date other people? You want it to be just You and Me?" Tim's joy rang through the open space of Abby's Lab and bounced off all the hard surfaces like an adoring choir.

Tony suddenly felt the rug pulled out from underneath him as he suddenly faced the sharp jaws of an emotional commitment he had avoided for decades standing in front of him in the shape of a green eyed computer genius/Federal Agent by the name of Timothy McGee.

Tony paused for a split second and considered the joy he felt wash over him as he read Tim's declaration of love in the letter to him. And the despair that pierced his heart as he tore through city traffic on the way to the hospital dreading the idea that he may never get the chance to hold Tim in his arms.

"Uh well yeah" Tony shrugged, embarrassed.

Tim literally bounded across the lab over to Tony and a second later Tony felt himself swept up in a warm strong embrace as Tim pulled him into his arms and held him tight, tucking his head into his shoulder and running one hand through his hair. Tim held him for a moment and ran his hand down Tony's strong back soothing him and Tony found himself closing his eyes and surrendering without hesitation to Tim's warm embrace.

Tim turned his head and whispered gently into his ear just for him to hear "And I love you too Tony"

Tim pulled back and lovingly cradled Tony's face in his hands just gently stroking his cheeks with his thumbs before he leaned in and softly, gently, devastatingly kissed Tony.

Tony had never been swept off his feet before. He had figured it to be a simple expression of speech but as Tim held him and kissed him, gently tasting him with his tongue Tony found himself clutching wildly at the lapels of Tim's new jacket just to stop himself falling over as his knees decided they no longer had the capacity to hold him upright.

Strawberry.

Tim's soft lips and slow endless kiss tasted of strawberries and warm sunshine.

Tim pulled back regretfully in order to breathe, a slight smile gracing his lips as he panted slightly, his lips open and wet and his big eyes dazed with wonder. He, Timothy McGee has just kissed Tony DiNozzo!

Tony could feel his heart racing at a million miles a minute and then realized that it wasn't actually his own heart but Tim's that he could feel through the fine silkiness of his shirt under his hands. He stared into the warm loving eyes directly across from him and smiled his delight. He made Timmy's heart race.

Tim watched Tony's face break into a smile as he held him in his arms and thought he might just die right then and there. Tony was so beautiful anyway but when he smiled with a rare joy that lit up his face he was more than Tim could fathom. Among all the many words Tim knew there were none which could describe his beauty at that instant.

"Rowllllllll"

Abby's eyes were warm and approving and she made a sort of growling sound in the back of her throat as she leaned closer to the two men engrossed in each other.

"Abby! Can you just uh..back off there a bit. You are kinda cramping my style here" Tony glanced sideways to find Abby leaning in towards them licking her lips

"Oh sorry……just Wow! Grrr you two together like that. HOT! Do you think I could maybe record you….for me to watch later?"

"Abby! No" Tim turned appalled and glared at Abby before returning with a smirk to Tony

"Besides he's all mine"

Tony laughed and tightened his hold around Tim's trim waist as they stood together. Why had he fought this for so long? This felt phenomenal. It was like he loved a friend…which in a way he suppose he did. And wasn't that the way it was supposed to be?

Tony found himself idly running his hand up and down Tim's chest enjoying the sensation of Tim's warm firm flesh under the fine black silk.

"Damn I love this shirt, Timmy"

Tim smiled, surprised. "I thought you didn't like it?"

"Oh no I love it. I just couldn't work out why you were dressing to attract the ladies all of a sudden…and then when you said you were going for that drink with the nurse I just kind of freaked out I guess."

Tim smiled "Oh no I wasn't dressing to attract a date. I wanted _you_ to like it. You said I was boring and dressed without any sort of flair and…… I didn't want to embarrass you"

"Embarrass me?"

Tim shrugged a little sadly "Yeah well …. You're gorgeous, everyone wants you…and I'm the team Geek. The one no one really looks at. I figured if I dressed a little flashier then you might not be so embarrassed about dating me"

Tim looked at Tony and he could sense the vulnerability in his eyes. Tim's recent confidence washed away to reveal an awkward young teenager who had been stuffed into a locker one to many times to forget about the pain of climbing out.

Tony sucked in his breath "Oh Timmy no…don't think that. You're already great looking and I think you're gorgeous. Those eyes of yours, they just slay me and you have the most amazing hands and…oh just come here"

Tony slid his hand up Tim's neck knowing he needed to show Tim how he felt rather than telling him and pulled him in for a kiss. This time it was Tony who controlled the kiss, deepening it and he felt Tim sag helpless against him, a tiny whimper escaping Tim's throat as Tony swept his tongue into his mouth.

"Rowllllllll"

"Abby! Can you please stop that" Tony pulled away panting slightly and frowned at Abby who had managed to come even closer.

"Well if you two could stop fulfilling my sexual fantasies in front of me it would sure help!" Abby complained loudly with mischievous eyes.

"I don't want to see anyone's sexual fantasy's being fulfilled in this lab and especially not now when we're in the middle of a case. Got that?" Gibbs strode into the room with a smirk and Tony and Tim guiltily shot apart, knocking over the stool in the process with a loud clatter.

Abby grinned "Hello Gibbs" while Tony and Tim blushed and stuttered and smoothed hair and adjusted trousers and managed to look tremendously guilty about not much at all.

"So Abby you got these two sorted out finally?"

Abby looked across at the two men now standing behind Gibbs as they eyed each other with guilty smiles.

"Yup, I reckon so."

"Good. Well if the three of you don't mind I would really like for some work to be done around here"

BING!

"Oh Gibbs Look you made the results come through. You know you're just like a Fairy Godmother…."

"I'm not going to wear a tutu for you Abb's"

"But Gibbs!"

(

_(I hope this gives some satisfaction to those paitently waiting for these two to get their acts together. Still a little bit more to come. Precious)_


	18. Chapter 18

Tony bit his lip and glanced through his immaculate apartment for the thousandth time. Tim was late. Tony jiggled his knee and tried not to worry. McGee was never late…ok the last time he was late it was because he had been shot but surely that wouldn't happen again. Would it?

No, no everything would be fine. Tim would have a good excuse and they would have a lovely dinner and they would talk like normal people about stuff and maybe watch a movie. And then….

Tony suddenly shot out of his seat as he heard a loud knock on the door. He found himself rushing to the door and then stopped. It might be McGee but this was still a date. Something he had done a thousand times before. Nothing to get too excited about.

Tony took a deep calming breath, straightened his shirt, and checked his hair in the mirror he had positioned beside the door for just such a purpose. The only thing he hadn't done was his standard pre date upper body work out. Maybe he should have done that? Was it bad luck to break his date routine? Did Tim already know that he did that? Would Tim notice that he hadn't?

"Tony? Are you going to open the door or not? I know you're in there I can see the shadows moving under the door!"

Tony cursed under his breath. Now Probie would think he was all nervous. And he wasn't. Not at all.

Tony swung open the door and was immediately assaulted with a vast bunch of red roses in full fragrant bloom.

"Whoa" Tony struggled to see over the flowers which seemed to take up his entire vision and filled the doorway.

"Um here Tony, these are for you" Tim's voice came over the flowers and the flowers seemed to shove themselves in Tony's direction.

"Uh thanks…McGee…uh Tim. There…um very big" Tony grappled with the flowers and managed to subdue them into an armful allowing Tim to step through the door.

Tony turned and stumbled with them into the kitchen and filled up the sink with water and placed the flowers inside before turning to Tim with a smile.

"You got me _flowers_?"

"Yeah and I also brought wine. A nice red AND a white as I didn't know what we were going to be eating. And I got you chocolates as well and I realized I didn't know if you preferred dark or milk chocolates or hard or soft centers so I got all of them."

Tim smiled embarrassed and indicated the large bag he held in his other hand.

"Wow. Ok. Geez you go all out don't you? Are you trying to spoil me or something?"

Tim smiled and shrugged. "I know, probably a bit much……but I wanted to. And I mean this is our first date so I wanted to do something nice. I'm sorry I'm late I was at the florist trying to work out what the most masculine flower I could get you was. Lilies were too girly, sunflowers too friendly, iris seemed too sad, I nearly went with the tulips but they seemed a bit too perfect, a little cold….so in the end I went with the roses. But I didn't want the small bud ones I wanted the full scented English tea rose ones because they always smell so much nicer. I was hoping for some Satchmo's but they managed to get…"

Tony looked at McGee with a curious smile on his face "You know the different sorts of roses?"

Tim blushed "Well yeah…some of them. I would come back home and visit from collage and I would spend some time in the garden with my Mom helping her out with the heavy stuff. It was nice, we would just talk about stuff and kind of hang out. I would tell her about school and she would tell me about Sarah or her roses or whatever had been happening while I was away and then afterwards we would have milk and cookies in the garden. It was nice."

Tony smiled at the thought of McGee and his Mom sharing cookies and milk and wished his Mom had done things other than drink too many Mint Juleps's and dress him in sailor suits all day.

"Well you see I'm learning new things about you already" Tony beckoned Tim to come further into his apartment and took his coat off to hang up.

Tony turned around and found himself smiling yet again.

"You're wearing the shirt I got you"

"Yeah what do you think? I really like it and you got the size just right"

Tony turned an appreciative eye on Tim wearing the French Blue pinstriped dress shirt with the mother of pearl buttons complete with silver and mother of pearl cuff links glinting at his wrists. The cut was perfect showing off just how broad his shoulders were and how trim his waist was. He had left the top button undone giving Tony a tiny peek of his chest. The tailored dress pants Tim was wearing seemed to fit his Ziva rated four out of five ass to perfection. Very nice.

Tim squirmed as Tony gave him a very thorough once over, letting his eyes linger over Tim's body before looking at him in the eyes.

"I knew that color would make your eyes look fantastic" Tony smirked and Tim blushed.

"So.. would you like a drink before dinner?" Tony returned to his host duties and pulled out the bottles of wine Tim had brought, inspecting them with approval.

"Yeah that would be nice"

Tony headed into the kitchen giving Tim a moment to collect his scattered thoughts while Tony banged around opening and closing cupboard doors with a series of crashes.

"Tony? Are you alright in there?" Tim called growing increasingly concerned at the racket.

"I'm good" Tony called out before walking out of the kitchen with Tim's roses in a dozen various containers, vases and water bottles. Tony then carefully placed them on the dining table and throughout his apartment before shooting a lascivious grin at Tim and standing at the light switch, slowly dimming the lighting until his rose filled apartment was bathed in a soft warm glow.

Tim quirked an eyebrow "Mood lighting?"

"Watch the Master of Seduction and learn Probie San" Tony picked up a remote and the soft sounds of cool jazz filled the room from the surround sound speakers hidden about the room and Tim laughed.

"Oh you are really going all out tonight Tony. I better watch myself"

Tony looked at Tim innocently "Now where was I? Oh yes I was going to get you a _drink_"

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((99

Tony leaned across the table and swirled his wine around in his glass. So far his first date with Tim had gone spectacularly well. The meal had been fantastic, his entire apartment now smelled of the glorious roses, conversation with Tim had come easily and Tony felt his earlier anxiety slipping away. He could do this. In fact he could do this a lot.

Tony reached into the large tray of expensive chocolates that now served as dessert, popped one into his mouth and savored it as the rich flavors melted into his mouth. He watched, privately delighted as Tim made a note of which ones he selected.

"Dark chocolate..the richer the better..but I prefer soft centers" Tony decided to put Tim out of his misery and Tim smiled.

Tim watched as Tony relaxed and sipped his wine, the clownish persona he wore at the office gradually falling away to reveal the soft centered Tony underneath.

"So how come you never told me that story about spending time like that with your Mom?" Tony enquired curiously.

Tim shrugged and smiled as he looked across the table at Tony "Well I figured you would tease me about it. It's not exactly the same as your wild spring break adventures is it?"

Tony smiled "No not really. But still I think it's nice that you could share that time alone with your Mom. And I promise not to tease you about it"

Tim caught Tony's brief flash of sadness and knew that he would never trade his cookies and milk moments with his family for Tony's beer filled hazy nights with his frat buddies. Tim felt an overwhelming tenderness for the man sitting across from him and all his strengths and many flaws.

"Hey…come here you" Tim walked around the table and leaned over and wrapped his arms around Tony's shoulders and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for cooking such a great meal. Talk about keeping secrets. I never knew you were such a good cook"

Tony reveled in the comfort of Tim's arms and smiled as he inhaled Tim's rich masculine scent. Tim's date cologne. Not his everyday scent which Tony knew inside out and backwards but the special, expensive I'm going out on a date to impress someone cologne. Tony inhaled deeply and considered teasing Tim about it until he realized that he was wearing his date cologne too.

Tony turned in his chair and looked up at Tim with a sad smile.

"Do you think I could have survived all this time without ever learning to cook something? Although that is it. I can cook one impressive meal for a date and then that's it…..although normally it's never mattered because my dates have never lasted long enough to come over and have me cook a second time."

Tim smiled and nuzzled at Tony's neck which made him shiver.

"Well perhaps one of the first things we should do is get you a cook book. Because I intend to be around for a very long time"

Tim whispered it gently into Tony's ear and it was all Tony could do not to let out a whimper at hearing Tim's bedroom voice for the very first time. Deeper, rougher and yet somehow softer then his everyday office voice.

"Uh yeah" Tony's voice broke into a squeak which he then tried to cover with a rough throat clearing.

Tim stood up and trailed his hands over Tony's shoulders before returning to his seat. Tony tried not to close his eyes at the sensation. And failed.

"So how do you think this is going? I mean the date? Would you….like to do it again" Tim tried to act nonchalant as if this question didn't mean the world to him. And failed.

Tony felt his heart race as Tim looked across into his eyes, desperate for the answer to be yes.

"Yes. Yes I would definitely like to do it again."

Tim smiled and sighed out his fear as he sagged back into his chair. "Good. Me too"

"So now what?" Tony found himself idly stroking Tim's hand, gently running his fingertips across the back of Tim's hand and down each of his long fingers. Damn the man had beautiful hands.

"Well I suppose …I should go home. It is getting late."

Tony watched surprised as Tim stood and started gathering his things together.

"You're leaving? Already?" Tony felt regret at being left alone as if Tim was somehow abandoning him to his lonely fate.

"Already? It's 1.30 in the morning Tony" Tim smiled down at Tony.

"It is? Really?" Tony glanced up to check the clock on the wall. Damn.

Where the hell had all the hours gone? Surely he hadn't just whiled away long delicious hours of idle chatting and flirting with McGee? They had had dinner, gone through two bottles of wine, talked, done the dishes (Tony had washed and Tim had dried) talked some more, drank some more, flirted some more.

Tim smiled at Tony's surprise and stood patiently by the door.

"So are you going to give me a kiss goodbye then?" Tim flushed at his daring and couldn't hide his eagerness.

"Are you always this cheeky with your dates?" Tony quirked an eyebrow as he made his way across the table.

Tim shrugged "I suppose you're just going to have to wait and see aren't you?"

Tony met Tim's eyes and held them.

"Yes. Yes I am" Tony's voice was husky and sweet

Tim found himself holding his breath as Tony slid his hand up behind his neck and leaned in for a kiss. Tim tilted his head and deepened the kiss and felt desire surge through him as his senses were overwhelmed with the touch of Tony's body against his.

They pulled apart and rested their foreheads together gently breathing in the others scent, the others touch, the others love.

"Stay with me" Tony whispered, not wanting to let Tim disappear off into the cold dark night and leave him to face his rose scented apartment alone.

Tim smiled softly and pulled Tony closer to him before returning the kiss.

"Always"

_Finis_

(For those that are interested I will be writing a seperate story, Pistaschio about the rest of the evening between Tony and Tim which will be rated FR 21)


	19. Chapter 19

This is to let you know for those following this story or having it on alert that I have finished the next chapter of Tony and Tim's evening. It is a separate one shot called Pistachio and is in the M rated section. If I added it onto this story I would have to change the rating for the entire story.

I hope you enjoy!

Precious Pup


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